To Brittany, With love
by missingmoment
Summary: Glee AU. an original character ship, Sort of Brittana,and a little Faberry. So I don't want to give a lot away but basically this is the story of the Lopez twins both falling in love with Brittany. And I am going to have multiple P.o.v's so to speak. Let me know what you think, reviews keep me motivated. Also A Big Thank you to my Beta so Thank You brittana03nayamorris.
1. Prologue

Prologue:

There are children running around a playground. Laughing and screaming. Boys and girls of all heights and ages. All of whom are lost in their games of tag and hide and seek. All but two little look-a- like girls. The Lopez twins sat by themselves on a bench just watching everyone else play. They always kept to themselves. To them it was better that way. After some time Valeria, the quieter of the twins, notices someone from afar and turns to her sister.

"Santana?"

"Huh?"

"Who is that blonde girl over there?" Valeria asked curious.

"Which one?" Santana wondered while looking in the direction her sister was pointing.

"The one that keeps looking at us." She nodded towards one of the girls that had been playing hop scotch near the time out wall. Santana looked over and just shrugged. The twins stared at the girl curiously.

"I.. I don't know," Santana mumbled with a strange expression on her face. Valeria looked at her sister, who was still staring at the girl, confused. It wasn't like Santana to not know something. She thought Santana knew everyone's name. Santana always seem to know everything. So the fact she didn't know who this girl was seemed to surprise both her and her sister. Valeria turned to see that the girl was now coming their way.

"What is she doing Santana?" She asked nervously.

"It looks like she is coming over."

The blonde girl grew a smile on her face as she got closer to the twins. Valeria, who normally didn't like being approached by strangers, was surprisingly excited by the idea of talking to the girl. Santana seemed a bit intrigued as well. Which was odd for her. She usually pushed people away, seeing them as a waste of space.

"Hi I'm Brittany. Do you two want to play?" The blonde had a bright smile and sky blue eyes. She was just a couple of inches taller than the twins and had light smooth skin. Santana felt herself somewhat lighten a bit. At the same time Valeria was feeling challenged. The twins looked at each other then back towards the girl.

"We'll play with you." Santana started.

"If you can beat us at our game." Valeria finished. The twins both smirked at the girl while trying to intimidate her.

"Okay. What's the game?" Brittany asked smile still on her innocent face.

Santana and Valeria gave each other a mischievous smile once more before turning back to Brittany.

"It's easy."

"All you have to do."

"Is guess which one of us."

"Is which." They took turns stating.

"Oh and you only get one guess." Santana added in her sour tone that to most seemed annoyed but to Valeria was just a normal thing. Brittany frowned for a moment.

"What's wrong can't guess?" Santana asked sounding triumphant. Brittany just shook her head.

"No, it's not that. I just can't remember your full names. Does it count if I just say the first letter?" She asked politely.

The twins looked at each other once more then back to Brittany.

"Sure I guess." Valeria shrugged. She was confident Brittany wouldn't get it right either way. Not even their own mother could tell them apart.

Brittany smiled once more excited.

"Okay well you're S, and you're V." She smiled pointing each of the girls out. Valeria's eyes went wide with shock. While Santana on the other hand not only, felt angry that she lost, but also somewhat relieved. So many years they had played this game with so many people and no one ever won. Yet this girl who has probably only ever heard about them from a far got it right.

"How? How did you know?" Santana tried to keep her eyes from getting watery. Brittany smiled once more and just shrugged.

"I thought it was obvious. You two have different faces. Oh um what is your full name anyway?"

Valeria who was still in shock pondered on what Brittany had just said. 'Different faces? But Santana and me are identical? What is with this girl?' She thought to herself.

Santana on the other hand felt a need she never felt before in her life. She wanted to, for the first time ever, befriend someone else. So she smiled and let the sour tone drop from her voice as she answered Brittany's question.

"I'm Santana. And that's Valeria."

Brittany walked closer, causing the gap between her and the girls to quickly disappear. She hugged Santana first.

"Well it is nice meeting you Santana. You too Valeria."

Santana froze in place as Brittany let go and began to hug Valeria as well. Valeria took a step back before Brittany could get her arms around her. For a brief second the twins saw a slight look of hurt on Brittany's face before it was replaced by her smile once more. That was the first time Santana ever looked at Valeria with hideous anger in her eyes. Before Valeria could apologize though the monitor blew her whistle showing that recess was over.

"Well maybe we can play tomorrow than. Bye San. Bye Val." And with that Brittany skipped off leaving the two girls with unexplained feelings of somewhat of a confusing loneliness.

"Santana?" Valeria kept her eyes on the blonde girl as she left.

"Yeah?" Santana seemed to be doing the same.

"What just happened?" Valeria asked finally taking her eyes from Brittany to look at her sister.

"I don't really know. But I like her. I think we just found someone worth talking to." Santana smiled while meeting Valeria's gaze.

Valeria looked back in the direction of the retreating blonde who was now getting in line with her class. A strange feeling overcame Valeria in that moment. She didn't understand it then at such a young age but jealousy was taking over her mind and she didn't know how to deal with it.


	2. Chapter 1: Mornings

**Alright so the thing is I am not going to be able to update for a while. So as a thank you for reading and a sorry for making you wait in the future here is a long chapter :) let me know what you think. And thank you for the Reviews on the last chapter. Keep them coming. They keep me motivated :D**

XXXXXXXXXX

Ten years later.

"Valeria wake up. I am about to leave to get Brittany for practice, and you still have to get ready for school." Santana was at the vanity in between their twin beds, putting her hair up in a pony tail nice and neat. She had her cheerios uniform on and grabbed her backpack. Valeria on the other hand was still fast asleep. Santana let out an annoyed breath before kicking the edge of Valeria's bed.

"Get your lazy ass the fuck up, I am leaving and am not going to wait for you!" She yelled while kicking the bed again. Valeria yawned and stretched her body out. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at her sister.

"Can't you ever let me finish one good dream without interrupting?" She turned around and closed her eyes again.

"Fine. Fuck it, I am already running late. Find your own ride to school. I'm leaving." With that Santana stormed out of the room. A smile ran across Valeria's face. " Está bien . Now I can finish my dream." She tried to relax her body and drift off into slumber, but it was too late. Her body was already awake and her mind already going a hundred miles an hour.

"Fuck. Alright might as well get up." She sighed and stretched out once more before heading towards the shower.

'I really don't think I am up for school today. I don't have the energy to be around Brittany right now and pretend. Pretend like everything is okay. Like nothing is wrong. It's becoming too hard.' She thought to herself, letting the scorching hot water hit her back and make her body numb .After half an hour she figured she would be late to class if she didn't hurry, so she turned off the water and headed back towards her room. She never had been a morning person. In fact she hated mornings. One of the reasons she was failing three classes is because she would either sleep through them or just not go. And not going sounded like a good idea to her. She put on something cute for later and started to blow dry her hair. She figured she would just head in during lunch and catch her last five classes. She took a look in the mirror to examine her looks. She was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a long tight fitted shirt with horizontal black and white stripes that show her natural curve and hugged her torso just right, while stopping just under her butt. She tilted her head to her right before nodding satisfied.

'I'll put on my make up later.'

She headed down stairs towards the kitchen for some food.

"Good morning mi piojo," Her mother cooed when she saw her daughter enter the room and sit at the counter. She walked over to her daughter coffee in hand and kissed Valeria on her forehead.

"Morning," Valeria mumbled not in the mood for conversations. She wanted her mother to leave already so she can relax. She looked up at her mother and instantly regretted her sour mood.

Maribel Lopez was an interior decorator. She was of average height for a woman with long wavy hair and dark brown eyes. Many people say that the twins got their eyes from their mother. She was middle aged and still very attractive. But she had slight bags under her eyes from years of worry and stress. Valeria felt somewhat guilty for not giving her mother a better answer. She knew how hard her mother worked every day to help provide for the family. She knew how much her mother fought to make sure her girls didn't have to worry over things like getting a job and cleaning. She knew how hard it was for her mother to be a single parent. She saw how at nights her mother would come home with a sore back and pain in her eyes but still give her children a warm smile so they wouldn't worry about her. So Valeria found some kind of energy to put on a smile to make up for her last response.

"How did you sleep last night Mami?" She asked with more love in her voice. Her mother smiled back, putting her coffee on the counter and standing behind her daughter.

"Wonderful as always Mija, because I got to dream about my two precious angels."

Maribel wrapped her arms around Valeria and gave her a kiss on top of her head.

"Mami, you act as if I am still a baby." Valeria felt warmth in her when her mother hugged her. She would never admit to it but it was one of her favorite things in the world. To be in her mother's arms always lifted her spirits.

"You are a baby. You're my baby. You and your sister. ¿Te lavaste los dientes?"

"Si mami." Valeria just rolled her eyes. Not because she was annoyed. More like just as a force of habit.

"¿Bañarse?"

"Si Mami."

"Do you have a ride?" Maribel was now gathering her things for work.

"Si Mami." Valeria answered dully.

"Do you have everything you need? Money for lunch? Do you need any for after school?"

Maribel grabbed her purse and began to search for her wallet.

"Ama, I am good. Really. Don't worry about it. Just go to work, have a good day, and stop worrying about me so much." Valeria smiled reassuringly towards her mother.

"Bueno pues, I'll be home around nine tonight okay. Let your sister know."

"I will I promise." Valeria got off the stool she was sitting on to see her mother off.

"Bye. Te quiero."

Maribel turned at the door to give her daughter one last hug good bye.

"A ti tambien," Valeria called out with a wave as her mother got into her car and backed out of the drive way. She closed the door with a sigh and headed towards the living room. Letting herself drop on the couch, she turned the TV on to Mtv. The only good thing to her about mornings is that some days Mtv actually plays music videos. She stretched out more allowing her mind to wonder off. After some time her stomach began to growl in protest.

"Gah. I don't wanna get up," She grumbled before giving up and finally turning off the TV and getting up to get some food. After some consideration she settled with a bowl of cereal. She sat at the table eating and drifted off again.

'I wonder what Brittany is doing right now. She is probably making out with Santana. Disgusting. I mean seriously how did Santana get Brittany anyway? She isn't that great. It can't be because she is prettier. We look the same. Well sort of I actually have style. I don't get it. We all grew up together. We all did the same things. We were always together as a group. So how the hell did Santana get closer to her than I did? How did she win her over? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me? I just wish Brittany would look at me the way she looks at Santana. Don't I deserve love to?' Valeria was brought back to reality by the sound of hard knocking. She looked at her phone to check the time. It was 9:45 a.m.

"Who the fuck is knocking?" She muttered to herself as she went to the door. She took a look through the peep hole to see a very annoyed looking brunette.

'Fuck. I am screwed,' Valeria thought as she tried to back away from the door without making any noise.

"Valeria Thalia Alaniz Lopez! Open this damn door now! I know you are in there so open up."

Valeria flinched and knew she had been caught. She sighed giving up and opened the door.

"What the hell is up with you?" The girl yelled.

Armina Marcello was not a sight for sore eyes. In fact the exact opposite. And she knew it too. She had been offered so many modeling jobs but she turned them all down. She didn't want to be known for just her looks. She was smart and wanted people to see her that way as well. She also didn't like to waste time. She was half a foot shorter than Valeria but what she lacked in height she made up for in shape. She had the perfect hour glass figure. And just because she was short did not mean she couldn't fight. She was very athletic and knew how to fight as well as any boy. She also knew how to pick her fights. She had long brown hair and brown eyes that could pierce through stone and changed color with her mood. At the moment they were dark; almost black and Valeria knew that wasn't good. She would have hid but it didn't help that Armina lived right across the street.

"Good morning Minny." Valeria smiled trying to lighten the mood.

"Don't try to sweet talk me. Why aren't you in school?" Armina pushed her way passed Valeria and into the house. Valeria shut the door and followed Armina up the stairs.

"Well hello to you too. Don't you have athletics right now?" Valeria asked trying to figure out why the shorter girl was there.

"You weren't in first period so I asked coach if I could miss class today. Now hurry up and get ready. My car is up front and we need to get back by third period," She said heading straight to Valeria's bed and reaching under it to pull out a cute pair of grey suede boots and handed them to Valeria.

"Wait you parked outside? What if your mom sees? Then she'll tell my mom and I would be so screwed." Valeria began to freak out.

"Would you calm down? She isn't going to see because she left. She went to Austin to visit her sisters. And my dad took this as an opportunity to go on a golfing retreat. Seriously who golfs anymore? That is so stupid."

Valeria calmed down with the new information and went back to her usual self.

"Are you going to hurry up? We only have thirty minutes," Armina asked annoyed.

"I can't go. Not yet anyway. I don't think I can handle third period with Brittany? Or glee club for that matter," Valeria said sitting on the edge of her bed. Armina walked over and sat next to her.

"Are you seriously still obsessing over her? She is your sister's girlfriend. You have to get over it and move on. There are plenty of people out there. Trust me on this. Don't give up and have to repeat junior year because of her. Cause then I won't be able to talk to you anymore. I can't be seen with an underclassman. It would ruin my rep." Armina teased with a smile on her face trying to lighten the mood. Valeria smiled back as Armina elbowed her lightly in the side.

"I don't know about that. I just don't understand why it isn't me. Aren't I worth something? Why does it always have to be Santana? Why can't it be me for a change? I just can't seem to grasp the fact I can't have her. I know she is Santana's girlfriend and all but still I don't think I can ever find someone out there to replace her. I just want her." Hearing this Armina looked down at her hands with a frown. After a slight pause she smiled again but not as brightly as before and looked at Valeria.

"Hey look at me. How long have I known you?"

Valeria looked at her friend and thought about it for a second.

"Since you moved here in sixth grade," She answered trying to figure out where her friend was going with this.

"Exactly. You have been my best friend since I was eleven. You. Not Santana. You, Valeria Thalia Alaniz Lopez, are my one and only best friend. You are worth something. And you know what? If Brittany can't see that well that's a real shame for her because she is missing out on a very amazing person." Armina wrapped her arm around Valeria for a side hug and reached up to place her chin on her friends shoulder. Valeria just smiled and leaned her head on the shorter girls. After a moment Armina now filled with new energy got up and picked up Valeria's Back pack from the floor.

"Look it's Friday. You can make one day right? And I will sleep over tonight and we can get ready for Puck's party together. How does that sound?" She asked trying to motivate her friend.

Valeria just nodded in agreement.

"Good now hurry up so we can make it on time for once."

"Fine. You know I really do hate it when people use my full name." Valeria tried looking serious and upset but the sides of her mouth kept tilting up into a slight smile.

"I know. But you love it when I do it," Armina teased with a smirk. Valeria just laughed not being able to pretend much longer.

"Oh get over yourself." She laughed pushing the shorter girl lightly.

And with that Valeria put her boots on and took the bag from Armina before they left the house both with smile on their face.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Santana opened her locker door to replace her calculus book with her world geography one. She was about to close her door when a picture caught her eye. A smile crossed her face as she stared at the picture of Brittany and her in their cheerios uniforms, snuggled up together. Santana touched the picture lightly thinking back on when she first met Brittany, and when she knew for the first time she was in love. She smiled at the memory of finally having the courage to ask Brittany out on a date.

_Santana looked to her sister for support. _

_"I don't think I can do this anymore__,__" She said to her sister nervously looking back and forth between her sister and Brittany. _

_Brittany was on the other side of the unfamiliar football field. It was the last week of summer before they were officially freshmen in high school. Everyone had been stretching waiting for final try outs to be on the Cheerios. Santana looked back at her sister to see her staring at Brittany with a sad expression._

_"Valeria?" _

_Valeria shook her head and looked back at her sister. Santana just gave her a worried look. Valeria smiled then but Santana could see something was up. _

_"Hey look at me. You are Santana Lopez. The badest bitch here. You already got pre-accepted by Sue to be a Cheerio. That has never happened to a freshmen before-"_

_"But I wasn't the only one__.__ So did Brittany, You, and some girl named Quinn." Santana interupted._

_"Hey no stop belittling yourself. Now listen to me. You are gonna be head cheer leader before you know it. You are going to be queen bee of this school. And you know what else. You are going to get the girl." Valeria smiled more sincerely. Santana couldn't help but blush. She knew her sister was right. But she still couldn't help the butterflies she felt when she thought about asking Brittany out. _

_"You know you can still join us. I am sure Coach Sue will still let you be on the team if you changed your mind."_

_Valeria just laughed seeing what her sister was trying to do. _

_"No, really its okay. I was the one who turned her down. This is your thing. Not mine. Besides I don't think I could wake up that early for practice."_

_Santana laughed knowing how lazy her sister was. _

_"True. Too bad. There are a lot of cute girls on the team this year. You won't be able to flirt with any of them during routines if you aren't on the team," Santana teased. Valeria just rolled her eyes and smirked._

_"Who says I won't be able to get any of them__?__ I mean have you seen me? I look so good I don't need to be a cheerleader to get any girl I want." _

_They both laughed and Santana felt a little bit at ease. She looked at her sister once more. _

_"Thank you. For waking up early and being here. For supporting me. And for cheering me up. You really are the best sister ever." Santana hugged her sister then. _

_"I know."_

_Valeria laughed as they parted from the hug. They both took one last look at Brittany. She was alone on the ground stretching. Santana took a breath to settle the butterflies still rolling around in her stomach. _

_"Go get your girl."_

_Santana jumped in surprise as her sister slapped her on the butt then. She moved forward towards Brittany but looked back at her sister who was smiling at her. Something bugged Santana in the back of her mind as she walked closer to Brittany. She couldn't figure out why she thought her sister's smile looked so sad. She shook the thought out of her head as she began to approach Brittany. Brittany looked up at her a smile on her face. The butterflies in Santana's stomach went crazy. Santana couldn't help but blush and was grateful for her skin tone knowing the blood in her cheeks wouldn't show._

_"Hey San, what's up?" Brittany innocently asked as Santana helped her up._

_"Um__...__I. I was wondering__...__ If we could__...__Talk about something__..."_

_She mentally cursed herself for stuttering. Brittany's just nodded her head._

_"Sure. But I have to finish stretching. Can we talk while you help me?" _

_"Yeah. Yeah of course."_

_Santana smiled watching Brittany pull on her arms across her body one at a time. _

_"Would you mind?" Brittany asked pointing at to nearby cheerleaders how were stretching together. Santana looked towards them. One had their leg on the others shoulder and was leaning__.__ Santana looked back at Brittany confused before realization hit her. _

_"Oh. Right, no. I mean Yes. I mean no I don't mind__,__" Santana stammered. Brittany just laughed. Santana nervously helped Brittany put her left leg up on her shoulder. Brittany leaned in and Santana took a gulp, pushing up to help her out. _

_"So what did you want to talk about?" _

_"Oh. Um. I was just thinking. And well I wanted to ask you something." Santana blushed again. She turned her head to see her sister was no longer where she left her. Brittany took her leg off of Santana and leaning from side to side. _

_"Okay. Ask me." Brittany was still stretching her sides. Santana looked around frantic. She finally calmed down when she saw Valeria sitting in the bleachers eating. She turned back to Brittany who was pulling on her foot waiting._

_'Damn it Lopez you can do this. Stop stalling.'_

_She yelled at herself mentally. She took one last breath and let it all out at once._

_"Look we have known each other since forever, and I really really like you, and I thought that you might like me too and I just thought that it would be a cool idea if we maybe went on a__…__ A date sometime?" She slowed down towards the end. Her stomach felt like it was at her throat ready to come out at anytime. She watched for what seemed like years as what she just said hit Brittany. After a few blinks a huge smile swept across Brittany's face. Bigger than Santana had ever seen. _

_"Do you really want to go on a date with me?" Brittany asked still smiling. Santana couldn't find her voice so she just nodded. Brittany jumped towards Santana and hugged her tightly._

_"My answer is yes! Of course!" Santana's eyes went wide as Brittany's answer sunk in. She hugged her back smiling__._

_"Alright you lazy sluts pay attention!" Brittany and Santana separated then as the sound of Coach Sue's voice boomed through the bull horn she was holding. They both looked at each other and giggled before looking back at Sue. Santana felt so happy in that moment. Her butterflies were going crazy but in a good way. Nothing could take this smile from her face. Or that's what she thought at least. She looked back towards the bleachers but her sister had already left. Santana couldn't help but have a strange gut feeling that something was wrong. She began to feel a bit of guilt and she couldn't understand why. She tried to shake it off and pay attention to what Sue was saying._

"Hey San."

Santana snapped back into reality at the sound of Brittany's voice. She closed her locker and turned to look at her girlfriend.

"Hey Britt-Britt."

She smiled and leaned in to give Brittany a quick kiss. She smiled as she felt her stomach flutter. All these years and she still felt butterflies every time she saw Brittany. Though Santana's smile suddenly dropped as she saw the look in Brittany's eyes. Brittany looked somewhat worried.

"What's wrong babe?" Santana asked ready for anything. She hated seeing Brittany this way. "Did someone hurt you? Tell me who and I will go all Lima heights on their asses. Just wait and see."

Santana was already getting wound up looking around for the reason for Brittany's mood. Brittany grabbed Santana's hand trying to calm her down.

"No one did anything. I promise."

She reassured her. Santana looked confused waiting for Brittany to continue.

"Is Valeria sick?" Brittany finally asked still uneasy. Santana shook her head.

"No, why would you ask that?"

Brittany pursed her lip to the side trying to figure it out.

"Then why wasn't she in first or second period today?"

Santana's eyes went wide.

"Wait what? I am going to kill her! What is going on with her?" Brittany tried to calm the fiery Latina once more.

"No, baby don't get mad at her. I didn't mean to get her in trouble. I was just worried. Please don't yell at her." Brittany pouted and Santana couldn't help but calm down under her beautiful blue eyes.

"Besides, I'm sure she had a reason. Just try talking to her." Brittany smiled and gave Santana a peck on the cheek. All anger that had remained on Santana suddenly vanished. She looked lovingly at the girl in front of her.

"You're right. I shouldn't get mad. Thank you for telling me." Santana grabbed Brittany's hand as they headed towards lunch.


	3. Chapter 2: Meaning

**This Chapter is shorter than the last one. And it is mainly through the point of view of Valeria but you get to see more of her pass in this one. Also In the Chapter after this you see a lot more of Santana. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think. **

Chapter 2:

"Are you happy? We missed third period," Armina looked annoyed as she locked the doors to her 1968 Chevy El Camino. It was a dirty white color with rust on the hood and sides.

"On the bright side we made it in time for lunch," Valeria smiled a toothy grin. Armina rolled her eyes as they walked through the parking lot towards the school.

"What do you think they are gonna serve today?" Valeria put her arm through to hook it with Armina's.

"You cannot be serious. Are you really thinking about food right now? We missed a third of the school day and instead of worrying about failing you are thinking about food?"

Valeria just shrugged. "What I'm hungry."

"You are hopeless you know that?" Armina shook her head disapprovingly. Valeria just laughed and nudged the shorter Latina in the side.

"Yeah but you love me still."

Armina stiffened for a short moment before laughing it off. Valeria looked at her curiously, but decided to shrug it off.

'Don't know what that was but I'm sure she'd tell me if it was important... Right?' Valeria thought growing a puzzled expression as they entered the school and headed towards the cafeteria. They entered the cafeteria and the sounds of boisterous jocks and chatty girls hit them immediately. They continued their way, avoiding rowdy freshmen and other wannabes. Valeria took a look around to see what people had on their trays. She scrunched up her face and grumbled.

"What?"

"They aren't serving anything I like today."

"You have got to be kidding me." Armina rolled her eyes and walked straight to a table with other glee kids. Valeria followed with a slouch. She sat down between Armina, who was now conversing with a boy in glasses and a blonde boy.

"Hey are you okay?" the blonde boy, Sam, asked with complete and utter concern.

Valeria smiled and nodded her head.

"I'm fine. Just super hungry and they aren't serving anything I like," she pouted again and the group just couldn't help but laugh at how childish she was behaving.

"Here. You can have some of my food. My mom always packs me extra," the boy with glasses sitting next to Armina offered with a smile.

"Really? Thank you Artie. You're the sweetest." Valeria took some of Artie's spaghetti with a huge grin on her face. The conversation around the table then continued as normal.

Valeria, too focused on the food in front of her, didn't notice the now present Santana and Brittany. The girls took their seats across from Valeria and Armina.

"Hey Valeria, what song are you singing in Glee club today?" Tina, a girl sitting on the farthest side of the table with her boyfriend Mike, asked shyly. Valeria finally looked up from her food to find all eyes on her, including two sets of eyes whose stares made her nervous. She slurped the noodle that was hanging from her mouth and shrugged. She was trying to make it seem like no big deal so that everyone could go back to their own things.

"But you're the last one left to sing. How do you not know what song you are singing? You have to be ready at all times. Look at me for example. I always have a song in my back pocket. You have to be prepared to perform-"

"Okay I get it. Geez. I'll pick a song later. So just chill," Valeria interrupted Rachel before she began rambling. She looked back to her food trying to avoid eye contact with the two girls sitting across from her.

"This is a serious matter. You need practice for one day you become a backup singer for Mercedes or even a back up character for me on Broadway if you get that lucky." Rachel smiled innocently.

"No, you are not about to ruin Artie's moms spaghetti for me. I'll get a song. So let me eat already." Rachel was about to say something else when Mercedes, who was sitting on her left, raised her hand in Rachel's face to stop her. Valeria mouthed a thank you before getting back to her food. Mercedes just nodded and smiled in response. The conversations continued around the table. Valeria felt a pair of eyes on her. She didn't have to look up to know who they belonged to.

'Shit. She is so pissed. Should have known she'd find out I skipped. Okay keep calm. Act like nothing happen. And whatever you do; Dont. Look. Up,' Valeria told herself. But at the thought of looking up her body took action before her brain could stop it. She met Santana's glare and immediately regretted not taking her own advice. She glanced over towards Armina who was giggling to herself at the whole scene happening before her. Valeria kicked her friend under the table and narrowed her eyes at her. Armina calmed her laughter and just smiled at her. Valeria gave her a pleading look. Armina just rolled her eyes and put her attention on Santana.

"Hey Santana. Hi Brittany. How was y'alls day so far?" Armina asked with a smile.

"Fine," Santana stated bluntly not taking her eyes off of her sister. Brittany just giggled. That caused the twins to look at her smiles on their faces.

"What's so funny?" Armina asked already knowing the answer.

"You said y'all. It was just different. Made me laugh," Brittany explained. Santana giggled at Brittany's point. Armina put a pretend hurt face on.

"Now I know y'all aren't laughing at my southern blood, am I correct?" Armina asked in an exaggerated southern accent before winking at the blonde in front of her. Brittany laughed again catching on to what Armina was trying to do.

"No. No of course not. I just forgot you were from Texas that's all," Brittany said in a bad accent on purpose. Santana couldn't help but laugh at Brittany's attempt.

"You are so cute," Santana cooed giving her girlfriend a peck on the cheek. All the anger that was once in Santana suddenly disappeared and was replaced with pure love and adoration. Armina turned to Valeria who was still trying to figure out what just happened.

"Don't think too hard. It might make your brain explode. Instead just say thank you." She smiled at Valeria who had a puzzled look on her face.

"Um... Thank... You. I guess."

"You're welcome." Brittany and Armina said at the same time. Santana pulled her head back from Brittany's shoulder.

"What?" The twins asked in unison both confused as to what was happening.

"Don't worry about it babe." Brittany touched Santana's nose. Armina leaned in to whisper in Valeria's ear.

"It's okay. You'll get it. And if not, I'll explain it later." The bell rang and everyone said their byes. Armina walked with Valeria to her next class to make sure she actually went.

"You don't have to babysit me." Valeria rolled her eyes annoyed as they reached her next class. Armina just smiled and patted her head before turning and leaving.

"Weirdo," Valeria said to herself.

Half way through class Valeria's head snapped up suddenly.

"She's a genius," she exclaimed out loud causing everyone to look at her. She slouched back into her seat embarrassed. She heard a giggle come from the blonde sitting next to her.

"Who's a genius?" Quinn asked just loud enough for Valeria to hear.

"Huh? Oh um Armina. It's kind of a long story." Valeria blushed embarrassed. Quinn continued to look at her waiting patiently.

"Santana was mad at me so at lunch Armina used Brittany to charm Santana back into a good mood. It took a while for me to figure it out," Valeria explained. Quinn just nodded her head understandingly.

"Hey why weren't you at lunch today?" Valeria asked curiously.

Quinn just shrugged. "Had things to take care of."

"Are you going to Puck's party?"

"Yea I guess. But no way in hell I'm drinking. Last time I made out with Rachel."

Valeria laughed remembering how Quinn acted at the last party. She had been yelling at Puck one minute and in full lip lock with Rachel the next.

"You looked like you liked it though." Valeria teased. Quinn stiffened and turned to look forward again.

'Was it something I said?' Valeria thought to herself before shrugging it off.

The rest of the day was a complete blur to Valeria. Before she realized it her body was entering the choir room. She sighed as she saw the word 'Meaning' written on the white board. She pulled out her Galaxy player and put her sleep playlist on shuffle. She pressed play, deciding the first song to come on would be the one she sang. Armina walked in and sat next to her.

"Did you pick a song yet?" She asked curious.

"Just did." Valeria smiled putting her Galaxy player back in her pocket.

"So what are you planning on singing?"

"You'll see." Valeria turned to look forward as the room began to fill with other members.

"So what are you going to say is the meaning behind it?"

Valeria thought about it for a second before shrugging.

"I'll just bull shit it. Can't be that hard."

Armina shook her head disapprovingly.

"This is stupid. And you are going to get caught."

Valeria shrugged again. "Oh well."

Mr. Schue came in that moment smiling his creepy 'I have a dirty secret' smile.

"Alright class. It seems we are almost done for the week. I enjoyed hearing all of your songs. Now if Valeria can come up and sing hers we can talk about the point of all of this."

Valeria sighed before heading towards Brad the piano player. She whispered something in his ear and he just nodded. She moved towards the violins to tell them her song before she moved back to the front.

"I'm going to sing 'How it ends' by Devotchka," Valeria announced.

"Love that song." she heard Sam whisper to Mercedes. She grinned at his statement before taking one last breath and nodding towards Brad to begin.

The piano began to play; Valeria closed her eyes and began to sing.

"_Hold your grandmother's bible to your breast_

_Gonna put it to the test_

_You wanted to be blessed_

_And in your heart you know it to be true_

_You know what you gotta do_

_They all depend on you_"

She let out in a soft even tone. Her voice wasn't exactly like her sisters. While her sister's was raspy and powerful; Valeria's was more smooth and soulful. No matter what song she sang; an ounce of pain could always be heard. She took a deep breath to belt out the chorus.

"_And you already know_

_Yeah, you already know how this will end_"

She waited as the string instruments joined in the background. She kept her eyes close as she sang the next part.

"_There is no escape from the slave catcher's songs_

_For all of the loved ones gone_

_Forever's not so long" _

Suddenly childhood memories flooded through her mind. Memories of her crying when she had to go to school without her sister because Santana was sick. Memories of being home alone because her mother worked late, her dad was still out of town, Santana was sleeping over at Brittany's, and the babysitter was asleep on the couch. Her eyes began to water at the thought of the pain and loneliness she felt.

She opened her eyes and they locked with Santana pleadingly. Begging for some sign of understanding. A small tear slowly made its way down Santana's face. She then gave Valeria a small supporting smile.

Valeria closed her eyes once more to sing the next part, as the memories continued to rush back to her. Her dad and mom fighting in the kitchen. Her sitting on the top of the stairs scared. Santana was gone again. She was alone. She saw her dad grab his bag by the door and head out of the house. She ran after him. Watched as he got in the taxi. She chased after him but her feet just couldn't carry her fast enough. And as she went back towards her room in agony. She remembered turning to see her mother with her face in her hands crying at the kitchen table.

"_And in your soul they poked a million holes_

_But you never let em show_

_Come on, it's time to go_"

She opened her eyes again this time letting a tear escape from her.

_"And you already know_

_Yeah, you already know how this will end"_

The string instruments followed the tune perfectly in the background. She took a look around the room to see everyone's expressions. She saw Armina with tears in her eyes. She understood what was going on unlike everyone else in the room. Armina had been there for the twelve year old Valeria when morning came and she cried realizing it wasn't a dream. That her dad really had left them.

Valeria held Armina's gaze. Thinking back to the last time she saw her dad. To when he came back three years ago to check on his girls. When he cried to them for forgiveness.

_"Now you've seen his face_

_And you know that there's a place in the sun_

_For all that you've done_

_For you and your children"_

Valeria closed her eyes thinking of that day. The day when she believed every word coming from his mouth. All of his promises to stay in their lives and be there for them. The girls knew they were lies but she wanted to believe them to be true. She needed it. And Santana knew she did. So even as the days passed where they never got another call. Santana was there trying to be strong for the two of them.

_"No longer shall you need_

_You always wanted to believe_

_Just ask and you'll receive_

_Beyond your wildest dreams"_

She belted out the last few words. Letting all of the memories, all of the emotion, and all of the hope and longing flow out of her with those last words.

_"And you already know_

_Yeah, you already know how this will end."_

The music finished in the background leaving her to stand there alone in silence. The class began to clap slowly and softly. Santana got up and walked straight to her sister to give her a hug.

"Hey are you okay?" Santana asked her sister softly. Valeria just gave her a nod and wiped away the remaining tears left on her cheek.

"You were amazing. Did you know that?" Santana complimented.

"Thanks," Valeria smiled at her lovingly. Santana let go and her hands were replaced by those of Brittany. Valeria froze. She felt uneasy but tried not to let it show. Brittany let go to look up towards her.

"It was really good. I liked it'" Brittany smiled encouragingly.

"Um... Thanks..." Valeria tried to avoid eye contact. Armina ran up to Valeria once Brittany finally let go completely and hugged her.

"So much for b.s-ing it" Armina whispered in the side of Valeria's neck. Valeria squeezed her tight. She really needed this hug.

"Yeah well once I started singing I couldn't control my thoughts," Valeria tried to explain. She felt her friend nod in her neck understandingly.

"Alright. That was intense. But I loved it. So would you mind telling the class what it meant for you?" Mr. Schue's voice interrupted their moment.

'Shit I forgot I had to explain it,' she thought to herself quickly trying to come up with a different reason. She didn't want everyone to know the real reason. It caused unwanted bonds. And like Santana always told her "the more people know about you; the more vulnerable you become".

Valeria thought back to when she first heard the song and looked up the lyrics. One of the comments had said something about religion. It seemed like a good enough excuse to her so she went with it.

"Um. Religion mostly. You know it's like my struggle with my religion and stuff. Also with my sexuality," she gave as an explanation to the room of waiting people staring at her.

"Praise." She heard Mercedes in the back of the room say. It kind of made her feel guilty. It wasn't a complete lie. That song could have meant that to her. She looked at Armina who was now next to her giving her a disappointed look. She knew Armina knew the truth. It made her feel even worse about lying. But it was too late. She couldn't change what she had said. So she walked back to sit in her usual seat.

"That was good. I hope all of you got something from these songs. You see the point is that music is like therapy. It can show the world who you really are in a few minutes. Share your life story, or even just help you get through things that are on your mind. It's not just about entertainment. It's about relating to others. And showing your vulnerable side without worrying about being rejected or put down for it. I want you guys to think about that this weekend. Have fun, be safe, and most importantly let yourself be free. I'll see you all on Monday," Mr. Schue wrapped up the class. Valeria felt an aching pain deep in her stomach as she got up to leave.

**Hope you all liked it. Leave reviews and any ideas you may have. Or even things you want to see in the future.**

**Here is the link to the song used. **

watch?v=Pfi1UQ_PKQI


	4. Chapter 3: Lullaby

**Thanks for all the people still reading. This one is a bit short sorry but it is important for the future. The next one will be up hopefully Wednesday. And I promise that one will be no less than 3,000 words. Please review to keep me motivated. Even if it is just a hi I'll take any review I can get. Make me laugh, give me your opinion, either good or bad, give me ideas, anything just review it lets me know people are actually reading. thanks again for sticking with me this far. **

Chapter 3:

"Hey Britt-Britt wait up." Santana caught up to Brittany in the parking lot.

"Oh I'm sorry San I thought you said you were staying after school." Brittany began to feel bad for leaving her girlfriend alone. Santana gave her a kiss to cheer her up.

"No you're right I am. I just wanted to talk to you before though. Valeria seems to be a bit distant today. So would you mind going to Puck's party with her and Armina? And I will just meet you guys up there. Please?" Santana pouted trying to be cute. Brittany giggled with a wink.

"Babe, of course I will. Anything to help. But I don't think Valeria likes me very much."

"Why would you think that?"

Brittany shrugged looking at the ground, "I don't know. She just gets quiet and tenses up when I am around."

Santana took a moment to consider what Brittany said.

"She does do that a lot. Even when I mention your name. But I don't think it's because she doesn't like you though. She is just being Valeria."

Brittany bit her lip. "If you say so. Maybe you are right. Anyway I would love to go with her. Maybe we can bond more."

"Thanks B. You are the best girlfriend in the world." Santana leaned up on her tip toes to kiss Brittany. Brittany smiled into the kiss before deepening it.

"Sandbags! In my office now!" Coach Sue interrupted.

"I gotta go babe. I'll see you tonight." Santana gave her one last kiss before pulling away.

"Can you spend the night after the party?" Brittany called after her.

"Of course." Santana smiled and waved as she got closer to Coach Sue.

"Sandbags what was that? Are your hormones getting in the way of your duties as my head cheerleader?"

"No, Coach."

"Maybe I should make Quinn head cheerleader again."

"What? No, please. I am sorry Coach really."

"I need you to be focus at all times."

Santana nodded her head understandingly.

"I need you to learn the newest routine by Monday and be prepared to help teach it to the other cheerios." Coach Sue explained. She turned and left Santana without another word. Santana sighed before heading towards the football field.

Once she got there she headed towards the cheerios private choreographer. She spent the next four hours learning a back breaking routine. Once she finally got it down she was covered in sweat and had a headache. She walked towards the locker room to wash away the long days pain. She turned on the hot water and just stood there letting it relax her muscles. She began to hum the song Your hand in mine and allowed her thoughts to drift. Her mind went to previously that day. To the choir room during glee club. To her sister singing her song. She loved to hear her sister sing. It was the only time anyone else could see a part of her only Santana got to see. The only time she knew Valeria's body overcame her mind and released all her emotions. Growing up Santana had always reminded her slightly younger sister that she couldn't let people get to close. But now being with Brittany has shown her it was a mistake. Still she knew that it wasn't too late for Valeria. Santana believed one day Valeria would find someone to make her feel complete. Santana sighed with mixed emotions. She somewhat dreaded that day. Even though she knew it meant her sisters happiness it still sadden her to know that it would also pull the younger twin further away.

'Hey don't think that way. You won't lose her. Just have to share her that's all.' Santana grinned at the thought of someone else being able to put up with her sister's crazy ideas and childish whining. Her mind wandered off back to the choir room. She closed her eyes and saw the tears threatening to spill from her sister's face. A tight lip expression crossed her face. She let herself go back to the cause of all that pain.

_A young Santana sat on her bed worried. She hadn't seen her sister at all__that day. When she came home from her sleepover her mother had told her what had happen. She wasn't very close to her dad. Neither was Valeria. But still__,__ Santana worried. Unlike her, her sister tended to be more sensitive. She regretted spending the night at Brittany's house. She hated herself for not being there when he left. _

"_I should have been here. I shouldn't have left her alone. She needed me and I wasn't here. What kind of sister am I?__" _

_Santana snapped her head up when she heard the door open. A very pale, very puffy eyed version of herself walked into the room sniffling. Santana watched as her sister walked straight to her bed and got under the covers facing the wall. Santana looked at the clock and saw it was now seven pm. _

"_He..__.__ He just left us. Like it was nothing__" __Though Valeria's voice was steady and calm Santana could still hear the pain that lingered there._

"_I know.__" __Santana tried to keep her tone soft and calm. She got up and headed towards the door to lose it. She turned off the light and made her way to Valeria. She scotched in next to her and lightly picked her up to put her arm underneath. She wrapped her other arm around her waist and hugged against her back. _

"_Do you think it was because of us?__" __Valeria still had that soft tone. _

_Santana shook her head, __"__No. I don't think so.__"_

"_Then why did he leave?__"_

_Santana grew silent for a moment trying to find the right words to soothe her hurting sister. None came to mind. What could she have said? Everything she thought sounded cruel. After finally deciding; she sighed sadly._

"_I don't know.'__"_

_That was the second time she had ever said those words to answer her sister. They stayed silent for a brief minute._

"_Santana?__"_

"_Mande?__"_

"_Could you sing for me please?__"_

_Santana closed her eyes and sighed before softly singing to her sister._

'_Goodnight, my angel__  
__Time to close your eyes__  
__And save these questions for another day__  
__I think I know what you've been asking me__  
__I think you know what I've been trying to say__  
__I promised I would never leave you__  
__And you should always know__…'_

"_Santana?" Valeria __interrupted__,__sleep threatening to take over her._

"_H__m?"_

"_Do you really promise never to leave me?"_

_Santana opened her eyes confused._

"_Of course. You're the only one who can truly understand me."_

"_Santana?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_You weren't here. I was so scared and you weren't here."_

_Valeria turned in her sister__'__s arms and began crying in her chest._

"_I know I am sorry. But I am here now. And I'm not going anywhere."_

_Santana promised kissing her sister__'__s head. She tried to keep her breathing even as tears streamed down her face._

"_I'm here." She whispered again as her sister cried herself to sleep._

Santana opened her eyes feeling a guilty pain in her stomach. She quickly finished her shower before turning off the water and heading outside. A sudden gush of cold wind hit her still wet face. She shivered as she rushed to get to her car. She fumbled with her keys before finally getting her car door open. She silently cursed herself for not bringing a jacket. On her way home she slowly began to feel her energy leave her body. She pulled into her drive way and parked her car. On her way up the stairs she felt a strange dizziness. She slowly entered her room to find Valeria, Armina, and Brittany all ready and gathering their things.

"Baby you look awful."

"Well thanks Britt," Santana smiled showing she was teasing. She did feel awful.

"Lay down. Look how about I stay here with you while you get rest?" Brittany offered.

Santana laughed and shook her head. "Britt if you were here resting would be the last thing I would be doing. Go have fun. Dance and laugh. Take care of my sister. I'll be fine. I promise," Santana said making her way to her bed. Brittany hesitated for a moment before kissing her girlfriend on the forehead.

"Fine but text me if you need me. Okay babe?"

"Okay I promise. Now go have fun you guys." Santana gave a reassuring smile as they walked out Brittany taking a moment at the door unsure. Once she left Santana turned on her side and allowed her mind to take her away into deep slumber.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reading. Leave reviews it keeps me going

Song sang by young santana.

watch?v=dcnd55tLCv8


	5. Chapter 4:poison

**Hey guys. So this one is a lot longer. I hope you like it. Though I am sure a lot of you are going to hate Valeria after this one. But trust me when I say things will look up in a few chapters. I am glad this has gotten so many Views this far. I wasn't expecting any more than a couple hundred. Anyways leave reviews letting me know what you thought, also tell me who you ship, what you think about this party, and of course what do you think will happen next. Thanks again for sticking with me this far. **

_"Santana, wait for me. I can't climb that fast."_

_"Come on V. Hurry up or you'll miss it," Santana yelled down to a young Valeria. She was sitting high into an oak tree waiting for her sister to climb up and join her. _

_"Help me please. I wanna see to," The eight year old Valeria whined. Santana laughed before reaching down and pulling her sister up._

_"You are hopeless."_

_Valeria frowned looking away. _

_"What's wrong?" Santana asked._

_"You really think I'm hopeless?" Valeria responded with a sniffle._

_"Don't cry. You aren't hopeless. I was just, you know, saying an expression. I promise you are not hopeless. I am sorry for saying you are."_

_Valeria sniffled again before looking back at Santana and smiling. The lighting turned orange and the girls looked off towards the sun. They sat in a tree on a small mound in a clear field and watched as the sun set on the horizon. _

_"I love the fall. There are no leaves on the trees to block the view."_

_Santana smiled at her sister's comment._

_"Santana?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"What is love?" _

_Santana took a moment to ponder what Valeria had asked._

_"Well it's complicated. There are a lot of types of love. And even sometimes it can be misdirected or misunderstood. Why do you want to know?__"_

_Valeria shrugged, "Well remember today in class the teacher asked what is love and Amanda said it is like when you feel like you have to take a big poop but you don't really. You just feel like you do. And I kept thinking that's not how I feel when I think of you or Mami or Dad." _

_Santana giggled and shook her head. "Amanda is an idiot. What she is talking about and what you are talking about are two different kinds of love. Love for family isn't the same as love for a friend or for someone you want to marry." _

_Valeria looked at her sister confused._

_"Then what is the difference?" _

_Santana paused thinking, "Would you cry if I disappeared?"_

"_Yes"_

_"Why?"_

_"Well San, you're my sister. You're all I have. I would be alone without you."_

_"Well how do you feel when you are with me? How do you feel when I or mami hugs you when you are sad? Anything in your stomach? Or is it in your heart or in your head?"_

_"I feel warm and safe."_

_Santana nodded, "That's love for family."_

_"Then what was Amanda talking about?" Valeria looked to her sister who was now looking back to the horizon._

_"It__...__ um__...__ I can't explain it," Santana frowned._

_Valeria looked to her sister and back to the now fully sunless sky._

_"But you know how to explai-"_

_"Look it's late__.__ We have to go or mami will get upset," Santana interrupted. She jumped out of the tree and began to run._

_"Santana! Don't leave me!" Valeria shouted after her sister as she made her way down the tree. She chased after her. Once she caught up she was breathing heavily._

_"You didn't tell me what the other types were." Valeria and Santana began to walk in an even pace down there block. _

_"There is also friend love. The kind that if they left you would feel sad but after some time you'd get over it," Santana said bluntly._

_"Like Brittany?" Valeria asked looking at her sister. _

_Santana kept her eyes forward but at the sound of Brittany's name her eyes lightened and she smiled slightly._

_"No__.__ Not like Brittany," Santana whispered._

_"But she is our only friend. So it has to be like her."_

_Santana frowned but tried to stay composed. _

_"Yeah you're right." Santana's tone became low and melancholic. She quickened her pace as they approached their house. _

_Valeria couldn't help but notice how much her expression changed when she mentioned Brittany's name. A strange feeling emerged in the pit of her stomach when she thought about it. About her. _

"Valeria? Are you getting down or what?"

Valeria snapped out of her daydream at the sound of Armina's voice. She looked over to see they had arrived and Brittany and Armina were now giving her a questionable look.

"Oh. Right."

Valeria opened her door and the girls began to walk up the driveway.

"What's with you?"

Valeria looked to see Armina starring at her.

"Oh I'm sorry. I was just thinking about the tree."

Armina nodded her hand understanding.

"Right it's already fall. Your little tradition. I forgot the day is coming up."

"It's not a tradition. Or at least not anymore. Santana hasn't gone with me for the past couple of years. She has been busy, so I just don't go either."

Valeria frowned at the thought of not seeing the sun set this year.

"Ask her."

Armina suggested as they entered the loud and crowded house.

"Whoa now this is a party."

Valeria smiled at the now frowning Armina.

"What?"

Armina looked to Valeria to answer. "Don't you think it is a bit much?"

Valeria laughed shaking her head. "Of course not. This is what I have been needing."

Valeria followed Brittany towards the living room leaving Armina alone.

"Hey Santana, Brittany. Glad to see two of the hottest cheerios here," Puck laughed. He had a drink in his hand and a sway to his step. His face was flushed and his eyes low. Valeria stared him down.

"I am not Santana you drunken idiot!" She snapped at him with more bite in her tone than her sister ever had. Puck gave her an apologetic and frighten look.

"My bad. You're hot too. I didn't mean to offend you."

Brittany looked from the now retreating Puck to the still steaming Valeria.

"Hey, he's drunk. Don't let it get to you," Brittany said, trying to cheer her up.

Valeria rolled her eyes and walked towards the kitchen. On her way she was been greeted by several fellow glee club members, all of which mistook her for Santana. Including Mike who always stayed sober.

She made her way past them without losing her temper completely and hitting any of them. In the kitchen she found Rachel and Finn kissing, Some cheerleader, who's name she thought was Gabrielle, talking to another cheerleader, and Quinn standing at the counter.

"I need a drink bad," she said to Quinn who was pouring herself a cup of orange juice to mix with her Vodka.

"What's up with you?" Quinn wondered with a smirk.

Valeria rolled her eyes impatiently, "Just give me a drink Q."

Quinn laughed and looked Valeria up and down. "Looks like Santana's attitude is rubbing off on you. Aren't you supposed to be the sweet one?"

"Seriously I am not in the mood," Valeria threatened. Quinn nodded understandingly.

"Well then, pick your poison. Tell me, what will it be?"

Quinn turned sideways revealing the various liquors that her body had concealed from sight.

Valeria walked up and grabbed the Tequila to pour herself a shot.

"So it's that kind of mood?" Quinn watched Valeria throw the shot back.

Valeria grimaced as the liquid burned her throat.

"Oh hey Santana. Didn't know you were coming," Tina smiled as she walked in. Valeria snapped. She jumped to attack but Quinn caught her and held her back. "Whoa calm down. Tina? Get out. NOW."

Tina's eyes went wide as she hurried off.

"Gahh!" Valeria screamed once Quinn let go of her. She grabbed the Tequila bottle and began to chug it ignoring the burning sensation.

"You really don't like being mistaken for your sister do you?" Quinn's eyes grew wide as she saw Valeria chug half the bottle.

Valeria put the bottle back on the counter and sighed.

'Calm down. Why the hell are you so angry? It's not their fault. They don't know how much it hurts you to be mistaken for Santana. How stupid are you? You get jealous for something so dumb. No matter how much they say it; you are not her. And no matter how much you want it; Brittany is not yours. Everyone else may think so by accident, but she will never mistake you for the love of her life.' Valeria yelled at herself in her head. Tears gathered in her eyes.

"I am guessing this isn't just about someone calling you the wrong name." Quinn handed Valeria a napkin. Valeria shook her head as she wiped away the tear that escaped.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Valeria shrugged. Quinn stood there quietly waiting.

"What... What do you do if the one you love belongs to someone else? " Valeria looked up at Quinn. Quinn looked to the ground and nodded. She looked back up towards Rachel and Finn with a sad look on her face.

She stared at them as she answered, "You must try to stop loving them." Valeria looked in the direction Quinn was looking then back at her. She watched in silence at Quinn's expression. Quinn turned to Valeria and shrugged, "What's the point of allowing your heart to be in pain when you can harden it?" Quinn took a sip of her drink and stared forward into nothingness. Valeria poured herself another shot. This time she put a bit of salt on her hand and grabbed one of the sliced lemons off the counter. She licked the salt took the shot and squeezed the lemon in her mouth.

'Maybe she is right. Why not try it? Just be selfish. Harden your heart and do what you want,' Valeria thought to herself.

"Hey you guys, we're playing spin the bottle. You girls up for it?" Puck asked excitedly.

"Fuck it. I'm in." Valeria said, beginning to feel her head become light.

Puck smiled, "What about you guys?"

"That sounds like fun. We'll play." Rachel said pulling Finn along.

"I'll play." Quinn said quickly afterwards.

They all followed puck to the living room. When Valeria sat down in the circle her excitement rose as she saw Brittany sitting across from her.

"You're playing to?"

Brittany nodded. "Santana texted me saying I should. I have been telling her everything which seems to be helping. Though she answers late most the time." Her face was flushed.

Valeria smiled. 'Perfect now I just need to get her. There's no one in my way.'

Armina walked in and sat next to Brittany. Quinn sat next to her. Then it was Sam, Kurt, Blaine, Gabrielle, another cheerleader, some jock, and then Puck and Mike on either side of her.

"Who's first?"

"I am," Quinn and Valeria called out at once. Everyone laughed at their eagerness. Valeria blushed and backed down. Quinn grabbed the bottle and spun it. After some time it finally slowed and landed on Valeria. Her eyes grew wide with shock. Quinn looked upset as well but made her way forward and stopped halfway. Valeria heard everyone cheering in the back ground.

'Might as well get it over with' she made her way forward. She let the alcohol take over as she leans in and kisses Quinn. Valeria moved her lips with Quinn's. She liked how soft their lips moved together. Quinn pulled away before Valeria had much time to enjoy it.

That was Valeria's second kiss by a girl. The first being Armina. She thought back to three years previous. They had kissed so that for practice. But after wards Valeria got with Puck. And then she dated Sam. But it wasn't till she dated Kurt that she realized why none of them had ever stuck. She could only think of Brittany. So she stayed single only wanting her. Of course the same exact thing had to happen to her sister too, except her sister actually had the courage to ask Brittany out.

"Now that was hot. Alright Valeria, your turn." Puck handed her the bottle.

Valeria spun it thinking of where she wanted it to land. Sure enough it slowed and landed on Brittany. Everyone whistled and howled. Well everyone but Armina. She was looking rather worried, or was it sadness? Valeria couldn't tell. She was too focused on the giggling Brittany. Valeria moved forward with a grin on her face.

'It's finally happening. I can do this.'

The closer she got though the stronger the smell of alcohol coming from Brittany.

'Is she drunk? Whatever. It doesn't matter. Be selfish and take what you want.'

Their lips met but it didn't feel right to Valeria. She couldn't quite enjoy it. No matter how much she deepened it. Brittany pulled away leaving Valeria disappointed. She watched as Brittany laughed and reached to grab the bottle before Quinn stopped her.

"No way. You are too into this game and Santana will kill me if I let you continue." She gave the bottle to Armina who span it still sad.

'Why couldn't I enjoy it? I could just have her. She is drunk enough for it… No I can't. What am I thinking? I couldn't use her like that. She has no idea what she is doing,' Valeria thought as she saw Brittany was now passed out leaning against Quinn's shoulder.

'She probably won't even remember any of this tomorrow. This sucks. I can't have her. No matter what she'll never be mine.' Valeria sighed as the game continued. Somehow the bottle ended up landing on her again. She looked up to see who she had to kiss. She wasn't upset when she saw it was Gabrielle.

'She is cute. Maybe she'll help me get my mind out of this slump.'

She moved towards the cheerleader and kissed her gently. She liked how it felt. Kind of like with Quinn. It was nice and relaxing. They kissed a little longer than anyone else had and a little deeper as well. It took a still sober Armina to remind her of the game. The girls giggled as they separated. Valeria spun again and it landed on Kurt. She just gave him a simple peck and handed him the bottle. The game continued for another twenty minutes before people began to get up. Valeria had had enough as well so she left the game. Quinn walked up to her a smirk on her face.

"So how was it?"

"How was what?" Valeria asked confused.

Quinn laughed at her obliviousness.

"The kiss you idiot. How was it finally kissing the so called love of your life?"

Valeria's eyes went wide. "How'd you know?"

Quinn shrugged. "I guess I recognized the way you look at her. You're welcome by the way."

"For what?" Valeria turned to look for Brittany.

"For letting her kiss you. I am probably going to get crap about it later from your sister but hey I have to help a fellow broken heart."

Valeria looked at her questioning. "Rachel?"

Quinn just nodded.

A sad understanding expression crossed Valeria's face. "Does she know?"

Quinn shook her head, "No she doesn't. And I am not going to tell her."

"Why not?"

"Because look at her. She is happy with him. Yes he is an idiot but she wants him, not me."

Valeria looked in the direction of Rachel and Finn.

"So then what are you going to do?"

Quinn shrugged. "Wait and watch on the sidelines I guess. It's all I can do. But trust me if he ever hurts her I'd kill him before he had a chance to say his stupid sorry."

Valeria looked back at them. She didn't think she could do that for Brittany. She couldn't just watch. So instead she decided to try and stop loving her. She figured she would try to find Gabrielle.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx Xx

Armina now sat on the couch annoyed. She wanted to leave already but couldn't find a single one of the other girls.

She kept thinking about Valeria kissing Brittany. Sure it was wrong she kissed her sister's girlfriend, but Armina was more jealous than she was disappointed.

'Why is she so obsessed with having someone she can't have?' Armina sighed. She looked at her phone and saw it was now two in the morning. She had to go home or she would be screwed. She walked around the house searching for the other girls. She found Brittany in the game room on the pool table swinging her shirt around with Quinn trying to get her down. Armina rolled her eyes and put the tall girl over her shoulder carrying her out. Quinn followed behind with Brittany's shirt. They went outside to Brittany's car and put her in the front seat. Armina took her keys and strapped her into her seat belt.

"You are a great friend. Did you know that? You are like the ultimate Unicorn," Brittany giggled as she closed her eyes. Armina turned to face Quinn.

"Have you seen Valeria?"

Quinn shook her head, "No. But I'll help you look for her."

They went back inside and began their search. They went upstairs and began to check the rooms. Quinn opened a door. "Well shit." She let out before Armina got close enough to see what was happening. Once she saw what Quinn saw she felt sick to her stomach.

"Don't you people knock?" Valeria shouted. She was half naked on top of Gabrielle who was had nothing on once so every.

"Um. Sorry. I got to go. Quinn, get her home." Armina rushed out of there as fast as possible with tears were streaming down her face and headed straight towards the car.

'Valeria you idiot. How could you?'

She ran out the front door and got in the front seat. She drove off still crying. Halfway home she looked over at a passed out Brittany next to her with anger.

"I hope you know this is your fucking fault!" she yelled at Brittany even though she was sure she couldn't hear her."

Armina parked in front of the familiar house and after taking a deep breath, got out of the car. Walking over to the other side of the car, she opened the passenger side door, unbuckled the still unconscious Brittany, she picked the tall blonde up from the seat bridal style and carried her towards the front door. She knocked hard and waited for a very tired Santana to open the door. Armina walked right passed her and headed straight towards the twins' room. She dropped Brittany on the bed and tried to leave but Santana blocked the way her arms crossed.

"Where's Valeria?"

"She is at Quinn's," Armina let out in a blunt tone looking at the floor.

"Have you been crying?" Santana asked in a softer tone. She reached forwards to wipe at the tear on Armina's face. Armina swiped at her hand, "Don't touch me. I have to go. I'll see you Monday."

Armina pushed her way passed Santana and ran down stairs throwing the keys onto the coffee table on her way out. She ran across the street to her house. She tried to open the door quietly as she snuck her way in. She silently made her way passed her brother's rooms and finally made it to her room. She laid down on her bed and put on her IPod on shuffle. The song, the (shipped) gold standard, came on. She cried as she listened. She hated this song but she also didn't want to change it. It felt like fate was playing a cruel joke on her. She continued to cry until sleep took her away.

**Song played on the IPod can be heard here. **

watch?v=UUtIlq3KxAU

**Don't forget to Review **


	6. Chapter 5: sexy times

"San?"

Santana turned around from the stove to see Brittany. She stood in an oversized shirt Santana helped her get into, holding Santana's favorite teddy bear, and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Santana smiled at how adorable her girlfriend looked.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?"

Brittany walked over to the bar and sat on a stool before answering.

"Good. I had a dream about you," she yawned then smiled.

Santana walked to her and gave her a peck. She smiled when she tasted the minty flavor of toothpaste on her girlfriend's lips.

"Glad to see you brushed your teeth. I love you baby but your breath was revolting last night," she laughed teasing the blonde.

"I know. I'm sorry. Now are you glad I leave my extra toothbrush here?" Brittany winked.

Santana giggled as she made her way back to the stove.

"Hope you're hungry because I made huevos con chorizo."

"Starving. Is that that thing your mom made last time?"

Santana nodded serving two plates.

"Yum, thanks babe. I love it already," Brittany smiled at her sweetly.

"You haven't even tasted it yet," Santana giggled putting the plate in front of her. She then set hers down and sat next to Brittany. She watched as Brittany took a bite of her food. Once Brittany swallowed, she turned to Santana and kissed her thank you.

Santana blushed and began to eat.

When they finished their food, Santana got up to put the dishes in the sink.

"You know my mom is going to be gone all day today." Santana said with a wink.

Brittany smiled seductively. "Good. It's been a while since we had any sexy times at your place."

Santana looked at Brittany with a smirk.

"True. How about we make up for lost times?"

Brittany got up from her seat, walked over to Santana and held her face an inch from Santana's.

Santana looked into lustful blue eyes and down to soft light lips. She closed her eyes and leaned in to kiss the blonde but Brittany pulled back slightly.

"Tease," Santana accused with an exaggerated pout.

She heard Brittany laugh before she leaned in and whispered against her lips.

"I'm not a tease. You just have to catch me first."

With that Brittany took off running up the stairs.

"Not fair," Santana complained as she chased after Brittany up the stairs to her room.

She got to her room seconds after her girlfriend but took her time entering. Eyeing Brittany as she walked in very slowly trying to savor the moment. She shut the door and locked it behind her back. Brittany was sitting on the end of her bed with an inviting look. Santana made her way to her playing with the waist band of her pants as if she were going to remove them. Once she got to Brittany she straddled her lap and placed her arms around her neck.

"So tell me more about this dream. Was I bad?" She said in a low and raspy voice.

"Well, you went to the party with me. We played a game. And I kissed you. Then after the game we walked to the dance floor and I was showing everyone my girl. I twirled you around and you grinded up against me making all the boys melt . Too bad for them you are all mine. And afterwards we went up to a room where you were very, very bad," Brittany continued in her sweet yet lustful tone.

"Would you like me to tell you what you did?"

"Well I'm guessing it went something like this." Santana leaned in and kissed the side of Brittany's neck. "Or maybe this."

She kissed the other side.

"Or I bet I did this."

She kissed Brittany full on the lips. When Brittany opened her mouth slightly Santana caught her bottom lip between her teeth. She pulled slightly and a hoarse moan escaped Brittany's mouth arousing Santana and leaving her wanting more. Chills went down her spine as Brittany tangled her right hand in her hair and placed her left on her butt. She deepened the kiss and slipped her tongue in Brittany's mouth. Santana groaned in protest when Brittany separated their lips. Brittany leaned in and whispered in Santana's ear giving her tingles in her groin.

"You also did some of this." Brittany began nibbling on Santana's ear lobe. Santana bit her lip from the pleasure.

"And this."

Brittany moved down towards Santana's jaw line. Santana stretched her neck as Brittany kissed down it. She kissed down to her collar bone. She sucked at the skin there and pulled on the edge of her shirt waiting for permission. Santana leaned back and quickly took her shirt off hating every second Brittany's lips weren't touching her. Brittany rushed to do the same before letting her lips touch Santana's warm tan skin. She gently kissed at Santana's cleavage loving the taste and smell of her. Santana put her hands on the back of Brittany's head softly pushing her into her breast. Brittany continued as Santana leaned into her while grinding her hips on Brittany's. Brittany moved one hand to her hip and with the other she reached back behind her and unhooked her bra. Santana let the bra fall and began to press harder into the girl beneath her. Brittany grabbed Santana's right breast and kneaded it as she took the other into her mouth and sucked at it eagerly. Santana threw her head back with a loud moan. Brittany smiled at hearing her girlfriend moan.

She moved back up and kissed Santana on the lips again. She placed both hands on Santana's butt and picked her up as she stood and turned. She placed the brunette higher on the bed and lay alongside of her. She broke the kiss and made her way down again. Santana felt her heart racing as she tried to keep her breathing steady. Brittany trailed kisses down Santana's body and lightly drug her nails along the path of her kisses. She stopped just above her naval and pulled at her pajama pants with her teeth. Once she loosened the knot, she pulled down her pants and threw them across the room, not caring where they landed. She grabbed Santana's right leg and began to kiss from the calf down her thigh. Santana arched her back in anticipation as she felt Brittany's lips get closer to her center. Brittany smile as she saw how wet Santana's panties had become. A bolt of electricity passed through Santana causing a wild growl to escape her throat once Brittany pressed her nose and lips into her. She felt Brittany smile into her as she moaned again and bucked her hips slightly. She hated the thin piece of clothing separating Brittany from fully touching her. she craved for a connection. It was killing her.

Finally, Brittany pulled off her underwear, she slid them slowly down her thighs, knees, calves and finally off her feet. After tossing them on the floor somewhere, she began to softly lick at Santana's folds. Santana instantly began to move her hips to match Brittany's rhythm. She bit her finger to keep from moaning to loudly when Brittany began to suck on her clit. The sounds Santana was making were driving the blonde crazy so Brittany reached down to her own core and began to please herself. After a bit she separated her lips from Santana's throbbing heat and made her way back up despite the brunette's protest.

"I want us to come together," Brittany panted out as she placed her thigh between Santana's legs while shifting one of Santana's thighs in between her legs. She kissed Santana as she moved her hips and pushed her groin into Santana's leg. Santana joined her in the movements and began to move forwards and backwards. Santana pulled her lips from Brittany's and moved them to her neck. She moaned wildly no longer able to control her volume. Brittany was breathing heavily and Santana could feel their heart beats pond in unison.

"I'm... I'm com... I'm coming. I'm coming," Santana let out as Brittany sped up their movements. "Ahhh. I love you!" Santana exclaimed as she hit her peak.

"I... I... love you too," Brittany let out as she climaxed as well.

Their bodies went limp as they tried to catch their breath. Suddenly out of nowhere, Brittany began to laugh.

"What?" Santana smiled curious.

"Talk about breakfast in bed," she giggled again.

Santana laughed with her this time as Brittany rolled on her side off of her. She turned on her side too so that she was looking at her.

"You are so adorable did you know that?"

"I know," Brittany joked. "I love you," she said giving Santana a peck on the forehead.

"I love you too. So very much." Santana cupped her cheek in her hand and leaned forward to kiss her softly on the lips.

"Mijas! Come help me with the groceries!"

Santana jumped and fell off the bed at the sudden sound of her mother's voice.

"Coming Mami!" she called back before laughing at the situation. They got up and quickly put their clothes back on. Brittany gave Santana a final kiss at the top of the stairs before they went back downstairs hands interlocked.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Valeria watched Quinn as she walked into the room coming from the shower in just a towel that Sunday night.

"Thanks for letting me stay the weekend. I don't think I could go home and face Santana just yet after what I did."

"I don't blame you."

Quinn took a bottle of lotion from her vanity, sat down, and began to spread it on her legs.

Valeria watched as the towel fell forward revealing a little more up Quinn's leg causing a Valeria to smirk.

Quinn kept doing what she was doing as if it were nothing. It made Valeria think.

"When you have sex with me do you think of Rachel?" she asked.

"No," Quinn answered bluntly.

"When you have sex with me do you think of Brittany?" Quinn countered.

Valeria grew a sad expression but shook her head no. She didn't want to have to think of Brittany. She already felt guilty for what she did Friday night. Why add more guilt?

Quinn grabbed the bottle again and began to apply the lotion to her arms and chest above the towel. Valeria, wanting a distraction from her thoughts, walked over to where Quinn sat in front of her vanity. She stood directly behind her and gently massaged Quinn's shoulders. She then began sliding her hands forward pass her collar bones and under the towel onto her breast. Quinn moaned at the feeling.

"What are you doing?" She asked with her eyes closed, still enjoying the feeling on her chest.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

Quinn nodded and grabbed Valeria's hands removing them from her body. Her towel slipped and she let it fall not really caring much as she stood and headed to her dressers. She pulled out a pair of underwear and a long sleep shirt.

"We are not having sex again."

She put on the shirt and threw another towards Valeria.

"Here you can wear this for tonight."

Valeria caught the shirt and looked down at it confused.

"No. Come on. I need this. I need a distraction," she whined.

"You've already had eight distractions today. Now put it on so I can go to sleep. I have an economics exam tomorrow morning I have to pass." Quinn looked at her through the mirror as she applied moisturizer to her face.

"Didn't think you would get bored of me that easily," Valeria mumbled taking off her clothes and putting on the sleep shirt.

Quinn turned and walked over to her queen sized bed and pulled the covers back.

"Stop being an idiot. I am not bored of you. I am also not your medicine nor your therapist. I am your friend. So you are going to come over here, lie next to me, let me hold and comfort you in a way that has nothing to do with sex, and you are going to let me be exactly just that. A friend."

Valeria made her way over to her and climbed in the bed lying next to her. Quinn wrapped her arms around her waist. Valeria placed her hand over hers and closed her eyes as a tear slowly escaped.

"I've forgotten what this feels like. Just being held. To be loved." Another tear fell from Valeria's eyes then. Quinn hugged tighter to show her understanding

"I am an only child. I have had to deal with being alone my whole life. I was used to it. I am used to it. You weren't," she paused, "You aren't," she corrected. "You had someone there. And she is still there whether or not you believe she is."

"Thanks Quinn. You're right."

They lay there in silence for a few passing moments. On the verge of sleep Valeria whispered something she had been thinking of all weekend.

"She is in love with you too you know." She felt Quinn tense against her back.

"Rachel. I mean." When the tension relaxed a bit, she continued. "Whenever you aren't staring at her, she is staring at you. You should tell her how you feel you know. You keep saying I push people away for fear of rejection but so do you." Quinn just laid there taking in what she had just heard.

'Rachel can't love me. Can she?'

Quinn let the thought flow from her mind as she drifted off into deep sleep.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X**

**Hey guys thanks for reading this far and for sticking with me. I am going to start update faster now that I have the next two months off. Things are going to start getting serious soon. So make sure you stay tuned and leave Reviews I love to hear what my readers think.**


	7. Chapter 6: want

"Hey, get up. It's time to go."

Quinn shook Valeria's shoulder as she got out of bed. Valeria yawned and got up. She looked at the clock and groaned seeing how early it was. And then again when realization hit.

"I don't want to go. I have my first and second class with Brittany." She put a pillow over her head trying to hide the light.

"I'm starting to see what she sees in you." Quinn smiled at Valeria's childish behavior as she put on her uniform.

"Who?" Valeria asked curiously. She was wide awake now.

"No one. Get dress. You can borrow anything you want from my closet."

"It's cool. I'll borrow something from Armina." Valeria took out her phone to call her.

"She won't answer," Quinn stated bluntly as she zipped up her skirt.

Valeria brought the phone down from her ear when it went to voice mail.

" Told you. Just borrow something from me."

Quinn looked over at a sad Valeria who walked to the closet and searched for something to wear.

Valeria looked over at Quinn questioning.

"Hey how did you know?"

Quinn turned away and shrugged.

"I thought it was obvious. I'm not an idiot. I observe. But believe me you would have to be blind not to see that happen." Quinn chuckled. Valeria, still confused, decided to drop it.

"You're very strange." She said as she continued looking through the blonde's closet.

Quinn ignored her comment and smoothed her hands over her uniform as she walked over to her vanity. She sat down and brushed her hair back into a tight high pony tail. She watched through the mirror as Valeria began to change behind her. Feeling like an intruder Quinn got up and went to the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and curled her pony tail. On her way back into her room she saw Valeria looking at her old pictures on the shelf.

"Do you know what's weird? I have known you for a while because of Santana and not once have you ever called me your friend. At least not until last night," Valeria comments, not taking her eyes off the pictures.

Quinn continued to watch as Valeria picked up an old Cheerios's group photo from freshmen year.

"Even to my sister you have always been distant." Valeria looked up at Quinn with a calm expression.

"So have you," Quinn reminded.

"Right." Valeria looked back down at the photo before putting it back in place. "Maybe that's why you understand me better in just a few days of actually being next to me than my sister has in our entire lives." Valeria took a deep breath before putting on a fake smile.

"We should go. You're going to be late for practice."

Quinn looked at her understanding. She knew what she was thinking.

"Tell me something. What is it you want from me? Right now, in this moment? Should I give you what you want? Or what you _need_?"

Valeria pondered on it before selfishly answering. "What I want."

Quinn sighed. Some things never changed. "Alright, I'll give you what you want. For now."

She unzipped her uniform and removed it carefully.

"Don't mess up my hair. We're in a hurry and I won't have time to re-do it,"Quinn commands.

Valeria nodded before moving forward and kissing her. "Thank you," she whispered, pulling away just as a tear made its way down her cheek. Quinn leaned in again and kissed it away.

"If you make this into a permanent replacement, it will destroy you," Quinn whispered as she pulled Valeria's shirt off.

"I know. But if I don't have this now then eventually I'll end up destroying myself another way."

Quinn sighed knowing oh too well what Valeria was saying. And feeling. They kissed again and Quinn could taste the salty flavor of tears.

'She doesn't need this. Not from me at least. But I'll give it to her anyway. Because it is what she wants. She may not need this, but I do. This way she gets what she wants and I get what I need,' Quinn thought as she deepened the kiss. In that kiss she thought of every person she had ever known who had called her heartless or inhuman. Saying she doesn't feel or that she is selfish. She believed what they told her. To her; they were right. She believed she was cruel to hold onto this girl and wanting her to be another. Quinn hated herself for many reasons. And some part of her mind believed in some way that by helping this girl; by making her feel loved, even fake love, it might make up for the pain she caused everyone she ever hurt in her life because of her own insecurities. Quinn helped Valeria get onto the bed and allowed her mind to wander off so her body could do its job.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Santana woke up to the sound of her alarm. She looked over to see her sister's bed was still empty. Santana frowned. She knew Valeria had spent the weekend at Quinn's but it still didn't stop her from worrying. She decided to shrug it off for now. She turned around and saw a still sleeping Brittany. She couldn't help but smile.

"Babe. It's time to wake up." Santana lightly shook Brittany's shoulder. Brittany's eyes fluttered and she smiled seeing her girlfriend next to her.

"Hey." Santana's eyes glowed when she smiled at Brittany. Brittany loved it. It made her feel special. This was a side no one got to see. No one but her. It always gave her butterflies.

"Hey, yourself," Brittany teased. "You know, we don't _have_ to go." Brittany looked at Santana mischievously while biting the side of her lip. Santana sighed, hating having to deny Brittany of anything.

"Yes, we do. I have to teach the routine today. And coach would kill us if we ditched," Santana said seriously. Brittany pouted.

"Fine. But after school can we go see a movie? It has been a while," Brittany asked giving Santana puppy dog eyes. Santana closed her eyes and laughed. She looked back at Brittany and smiled kind heartedly.

"Of course we can." She leaned in and gave Brittany a quick peck before getting out of bed.

The girls got ready on time and Santana helped Brittany do her hair. She then walked over to the night stand she shared with Valeria. She grabbed the white binder that lie on top of it and quickly put it in her bag.

"Are we taking my car or yours?" Brittany asked while tying her shoe.

"Let's just take mine. It'll save you gas, and I have the card today so I can fill up my tank on the way." Santana walked over to Brittany who nodded.

"Yeah, okay. That'll work. Are you ready?" Santana looked around the room making sure she had everything. "Yeah, I'm good."

They intertwined their hands and headed down the stairs and out the front door. They got in Santana's car and drove off towards the gas station just a block away. Santana got out of the car to pump the gas when her stomach growled. She realized she hadn't eaten that morning. She went ahead and bought two hot chocolates and two doughnuts from inside. She figured with fall coming it was chilly enough outside for the hot chocolate. She walked back to her car and handed the food and drinks to Brittany before going around and taking the gas nozzle out of her car. She caped it back closed and got back into the front seat. She looked over to see Brittany staring at her phone.

"What's up?"

Brittany looked over to Santana and showed her her phone.

"Quinn texted me saying morning practice is canceled and that glee club is meeting now instead of after school."

Santana grew a confused look. "Um... Okay. Well I guess we are going to glee club then." Santana shrugged as she started the car and pulled on to the road.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Valeria walked into glee club with Quinn following right behind. They seemed to be the only ones there besides Rachel and Kurt.

"Do you two know why we are meeting in the morning?" Quinn asked them as she took her normal seat in the back. Kurt shook his head no. Rachel just smiled.

"I'm sure Mr. Schue finally took my advice. Everyone knows the earlier you wake up and start vocal training the better you get. And everyone here needs to get better if they want to be able to catch up with Kurt and I." Valeria rolled her eyes annoyed. She looked over at Quinn who was holding back a smile. Valeria's mouth opened slightly in disbelief as she gave Quinn a questioning look to see if she were serious. Quinn just shrugged and looked forward. Just then Brittany and Santana came in holding hands as always. Valeria looked away as they took the two seats directly in front of her.

"Hey, did you have fun at Quinn's?" Brittany turned to ask Valeria who was still looking away.

"Um. Yeah I did." Valeria put on a fake smile.

"What'd you do?" Santana asked curious.

"What? Nothing. Why would you even ask that?" Valeria answered feeling both nervous and guilty. Quinn rolled her eyes at how obvious she was being before interrupting.

"Don't pay attention to her. We just watched movies and talked," Quinn assured them. Santana glared at them.

"Right."She was still not convinced but she decided to let it go and turned back around. Valeria sighed in relief then. Valeria watched as the room began to fill with other members. She smiled at Armina when she walked in. But her smile faded when Armina completely ignored her and went to sit in the farthest seat from her. Mr. Schue came in with a goofy smiled and wrote down a word on the white board.

"Love. I want this week to be about love. As you all know Emma and I are very much in love. So I want all of you to think about that word. What does it mean to you? Does it mean the same as it means to me? I want you to really think about it and pick a song that you are relating to when it comes to your love life. And I have a surprise announcement to make at the end of the week to explain why I want you to think about this word."

"So pretty much this is another lesson revolving around you?" Santana smirked as she saw shock cross Mr. Schue's face.

"Santana now is not the time. I have my reasons."

"Seriously this makes no sense," Brittany stated.

"When does anything make sense to you?" Kurt asked.

"Shut it Hummel! Afores I ends you." Santana snapped at him.

Valeria watched as Brittany smiled a thank you to Santana and felt sick inside when she saw them cuddle up closer.

"That's enough. This really is a serious lesson. You guys just have to trust me. Understood?" Mr. Schue raised his voice. The room got quiet again before he continued.

"Now we are not meeting after school because I have some personal business to attend to. Tomorrow I want to start hearing your love songs." He smiled. The bell rang for the start of first period and everyone got out of their chairs and made their way out.

Valeria rushed to her first period hoping to avoid Santana. She figured she could handle Brittany but not Santana. She saw Armina walking a few feet ahead of her. She quickened her pace to catch up.

"Minny, wait up!" she called out with a wave.

Armina turned to see Valeria. She sighed before stopping and waiting for Valeria to catch up.

"Hey, what's up?"

Armina ignored her as they kept walking.

"So do you want to hang out after school today?" Valeria tried again.

"Why don't you hang with Gabrielle?" Armina asked keeping her eyes forward.

"Gabrielle? Why would I hang out with her?"

"I don't know. You looked pretty comfortable with her Friday night," Armina spat out in a venomous tone.

"Are you mad at me or something?" Valeria stopped her and pulled on her arm to look at her.

"Or something. Look we are going to be late. I'll talk to you later." Armina quickened her pace and Valeria had trouble keeping up. She decided to give up for now and just head to her locker. She reached her locker and opened it looking for her white binder. When she couldn't find it she figured she left it at home.

"Saw what happened." Quinn's voice made Valeria jump surprised. She shut her locker and turned to face Quinn.

"What are you talking about?"

"With Armina. I think the game has gone on long enough."

"What game?"

"Come on, I know you can see what is happening."

"Seriously, I don't know what you are talking about."

"Fine." Quinn sighed. She pursed her lips thinking. She nodded when she made her decision.

"So, Are you going to tell her?" Quinn asked an innocent smile on her face.

"Tell who what?" Valeria asked confused.

"Tell Brittany how you feel." Quinn crossed her arms as if it were obvious what she was talking about.

"Why would I do that?"

"Come on Valeria. You can't kiss her and not tell her."

Valeria's eyes went wide as she looked around. "Keep your voice down. I can't do that, Santana would kill me. And anyway I don't think she remembers. So no I am not."

"Why not?"

"Because, are you going to tell Rachel?" Quinn just stared at Valeria silently.

"Exactly my point. When you tell Rachel I'll tell Brittany." Valeria gave Quinn a pissed off look and walked away.

"Fine. I'll tell her."

Valeria froze as she heard Quinn's words.

"What?" She asked hoping she heard her wrong. She still wasn't facing Quinn but she could hear how serious she was with her next words.

"I'll tell Rachel. I promise. So now you have to tell Brittany. Today. If you don't I will." Valeria was speechless. She didn't know what to say. She turned around but Quinn had already left. She cursed herself silently. If Quinn was known for anything it was keeping her word. She sighed knowing what was going to have to happen. What she needed to do. Valeria heard the tardy bell ring but instead of heading to class she went to the bathroom. She splashed her face with water trying to calm herself so she could think clearly. She looked up at the mirror and saw how pale her face was. She didn't understand what was happening to her.

'You don't have to tell her. But if you don't and she does you're probably going to regret it. And if you do you will regret it. Why does this have to be this hard? Why are you such a wimp? Maybe it won't be so bad if Quinn told her… No, Gahh stop it. It has to be you damn it. You're a coward always letting others do things for you and fighting for you because you are too scared to do it yourself. For once you made a mess only you can clean up. And the one thing you actually want. The person you actually want. You are too scared to tell her. So you need to get a grip.' She thought looking down into the sink.

She took a few deep breaths to calm her mind. She looked at herself in the mirror before turning away disgusted when all she saw was Santana. Not herself.

'Santana will never forgive me. I don't blame her. I'm in love with her girlfriend.'

She took another long look at her reflection. She stared into her own eyes and sighed when all she saw was empty sadness.

She splashed her face again and just leaned over the sink. She took a moment before closing her eyes deciding.

"You know what? Fuck it." She breathed out. She took out her phone and began to text Brittany.

"_Hey can you ask to go to the bathroom and meet me there? It is kind of important."_

She hesitated before pressing send. She wasn't sure what was going to happen. But she knew one thing. Everything was about to change.

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**Hey guys hope y'all liked it. I know most of you are probably freaking out mad at Valeria. Tell me what you think. Tall me any guesses y'all may have on what might happen next. I love reading reviews. Thank you to the people who have sent some so far. Please keep reading. The next chapter will be pretty long. I am guessing there will only be about six or seven more chapters. Thank you for keeping with me this far. This is the most views I have ever gotten on a story. So I am glad people are actually reading. **


	8. Chapter 7: confession

Valeria waited impatiently for Brittany. She paced back and forth fidgeting her thumbs nervously. So far, she had already waited an entire ten minutes for the girl. When Brittany didn't show after another five minutes, she figured it was a sign she shouldn't do this. Just as Valeria was about to give up and leave for her locker she bumped into Brittany in the hallway outside of the bathroom. Brittany smiled politely as she waved.

"So what's so important?" she asked patiently.

Valeria looked down at her hands nervously. 'It's now or never," she thought.

"Brittany there is something I need to tell you," she started slowly. "It is something I have kept a secret for a very long time. And it... I... it's something I had planned on keeping a secret till the day I died. I... I wanted to but.. I just… I just…I can't."

She had rehearsed this speech many times over the years and now that the moment was here, she couldn't say the words right. It was all coming out wrong. But she already started so she had to keep going. Her heart depended on it.

"It eats away at me every day. Do you remember Friday night? What we did at the party?" Valeria tried to keep the tears from forming in her eyes. She took slow steady breaths as she watched Brittany think back to that night. Brittany shook her head and Valeria looked down to the ground disappointed.

"This thing. This secret I want to tell you. It would have been a lot easier if you did. But of course you wouldn't remember. Things can never be easy can they?" Valeria looked back up to give Brittany a tight lip smile.

"You can tell me anything. You are one of my close friends." Brittany reached out to touch Valeria's shoulder in support.

"Please. Don't do that." Valeria shrugged her hand off. "It's hard enough saying what I need to say without adding that."

Brittany nodded understandingly keeping her arms to herself by crossing them.

"That night. We played a game. And I... I kissed you." Valeria looked at Brittany waiting for a reaction. Brittany took a slight step back in shock.

"What? No you didn't."

"Yes I did. During spin the bottle." Valeria looked down again feeling awfully guilty inside knowing she had wished for it at the time.

"But, I thought..." Brittany shook her head in confusion.

"Look there is something else I need to tell you," Valeria interrupted.

"Did we... Did we do other things to? No I couldn't have done that to Santana," Brittany asked with horror in her eyes.

Valeria felt hurt and angry all at once at the mention of her sister's name. This was so not going as planned.

"No we didn't. Look I am trying to tell you that I'm," she took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I'm in love with you!" she blurted out, finally letting go.

Brittany looked back at her, sympathy replacing the horror in her eyes.

"But you're my friend. And I'm with Santana."

Valeria's heart broke just a bit more with every word, because she knew they were true.

"Would you forget about Santana? Please! Brittany listen. I'm trying to tell you that I want to be with you. I have loved you since the day I met you. Why can't you understand that?" Valeria asked, desperation setting in. Brittany's chest began to hurt when she heard the crack of sadness at the end of Valeria's sentence.

"But Val, you have to understand. I can't be with you. Because I love Santana."

"What? Don't you think I know that? You know what, screw Santana. We look the same anyway. Please just forget about her and want me. Please," Valeria pleaded grabbing Brittany's hand hoping for the best.

"I'm sorry. But I can't do that." Brittany saw the tears begin to flow silently down her cheek, and in the moment, she almost looked like Santana. So she instinctively reached up to wipe them away. Valeria swiped at her hand.

"Don't. Touch. Me," she snapped angrily. She turned around and as fast as her feet could take her, began to run.

She ran in hopes to escape the pain flowing through her but before she was out of ear shot she heard a pained apology. That apology opened her freshly wounded heart and pore salt into it. There was no way she could get through school feeling the way she felt. But she couldn't go home just yet. She knew her mom would be home today. So she went to the one place she hoped would be empty. She felt relief overcome her when she walked into the empty choir room. She shut the door behind her, leaned against it, and let her body fall to the floor as she no longer could control her tears. She just sat there and cried it all away.

"_The greatest therapy for any situation is music." _She remembered her mother had told her that once. Back during the first birthday she spent without her Dad. Back then listening to her mother sing always helped sooth any pain or hurt. So she pulled out her Galaxy player, put on her head phones and pressed played to whatever song was already playing. The music began and she closed her eyes. After the first ten seconds though she opened her eyes in shock at the song playing. "Goodnight and go" by imogen played through her headphones. She struggled to unlock the player so she could change the song but her fingers weren't doing what they were supposed to. She was in a panic as the words taunted her with her situation. She continued to fumble with the lock. When she realized she couldn't unlock it she ripped the headphones from her ears and threw the Galaxy across the room. As the player shattered against the hard floor, she cried out, letting out all the anger and pain.

"Damn it! This isn't fair! This. This isn't fair!" she put her face in her hands and cried until there were no tears left.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Santana sat bored in her classroom waiting for the bell to ring. She pulled out her binder so she could draw to pass time. When she flipped it open she realized it wasn't hers. It was Valeria's. She looked through it anyway hoping to find something that might entertain her. She stopped when she found an envelope with Brittany's name written on it. Curious she turned it over and pulled out the note inside. She unfolded it and saw the date on the top first. It had been written a little over a year ago. She continued down the page as she read it.

_To Brittany,_

_This may come as a shock to you but I need to tell you something. I know you are now with my sister and all but I just thought it would only be fair if you knew this. You see__,__ I am in love with you. I am sorry if this puts you in an inconvenience but it is the truth. I have been in love with you for a long time now. __Sometimes I feel lost and out of touch, but when you're there, I feel safe. Your voice soothes me. A hug from you is like being lifted into heaven. I love you in a way even I don't understand. But I__'ve had__ sat back, watched, and listened as you fall deeper in love with my sister. If you only knew the pain I feel seeing you two together__._

_But these are words I can never say out loud, and I hope if I ever get the courage to give you this letter you can find a way to forgive me for putting all of this on you._ _I've fallen in love with you, but you are not mine to fall in love with. I have realized this. So I will not interfere. I'll keep a safe distance and feel these feelings in silence._

_With love, _

_Valeria._

Santana held the letter tight in her hands, too stunned at what she had just read to move.

'No. This can't be true. She would have told me... what...' Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the school bell. She lifelessly put the binder back in her bag and walked out the door. She was lost in her own thoughts as she walked through the hallway. Her attention was caught by something through the window of the choir room. As she got closer she saw her sister lying on some aligned chairs fast asleep. She walked in, pulled the binder out of her bag and threw it to the ground. It made a loud sound causing Valeria to jump up suddenly.

"What. The. Fuck?" Santana asked trying to hold back her anger.

Valeria looked down at the binder and her eyes widened with shock.

"Why are you looking through my things?" She asked suddenly defensive.

"What is wrong with you? How could you write something like that?" Santana ignored her question and went straight to the point.

Valeria looked down ashamed.

"Look at me," Santana commanded trying to keep her voice calm. Valeria looked back up half way but not fully.

"Is it true?" Santana waited for an answer. When none came she asked again more clearly.

"Do you love her?" Santana tried breathing through her nose when she saw the hesitation on Valeria's face.

Valeria closed her eyes and took a deep breath before answering.

"Yes." She opened her eyes to see her sister staring back at her disgusted.

"I'm so sorry Santana. Please believe me, I am." Valeria reached forward to hug her sister.

"Don't. I am done with you," Santana spat out in anger. She turned and stormed out of the room. As she made her way down the hall she felt a tug on her shoulder.

"Hey Santana, I wish you were my sister. It's pretty cool of you to share Brittany like that," Puck joked snapping Santana back into reality. She then shoved him hard against the lockers

Santana snapped back into reality as she pushed him against the lockers.

"What did you just say?" she demanded holding him by the collar.

"Calm down Lopez, I was just joking." Puck pried her fingers from him.

"Why would you say something like that?" Santana asked still on the verge of violence.

"Cause they kissed at the party. I thought you knew. Everyone is talking about it." Puck looked at Santana confused. Santana stormed away with a new sense of rage pulsing through her veins. She saw Brittany and marched straight to her ignoring the many looks from other students in the hall. Luckily the bell rang and the hall emptied once she got there.

"Is it true?" Santana asked when she reached Brittany at her locker.

"Is what true?" Brittany asked nervously.

"Did you kiss my sister? At the party?" Brittany sighed knowing this was going to happen.

"Yes." Brittany answered ashamed.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I... I didn't remember. I'm sorry. I would have. I swear."

"Why'd you do it? Are you sick of me?" A scared looked crossed Santana's face.

"No! Santana you have to understand. It was just a game. At the party. We played spin the bottle. I am so sorry. I just... she spun me and I should have called you first but I didn't. But I texted you before and you said I should play. I was drunk and I wasn't thinking. I am so, so sorry baby. But I didn't kiss anyone else. I swear," Brittany babbled on nervously.

"Don't you get it? That makes things worst. She is in love with you." Brittany looks down at her hands unable to look Santana in the eyes. "Wait did you know?"

"No… well I didn't at the time. But today she texted me to meet her. And when I did she told me." Santana couldn't believe what was happening.

"Why didn't you tell me? I'm your girlfriend. You should have told me right away."

"What do you expect from me? I just found out!" Brittany looked at Santana confused and a bit hurt.

"You could have called or texted me right when it happened." Santana began to cry and Brittany hated that she had to see both the Lopez sisters cry in one day.

"What would I have said? 'Hey babe how's class? Oh by the way, your sister just told me she was in love with me.' How was I supposed to tell you something like that? I was still processing it myself." Brittany's voice began to crack as tears made their way down her face.

"It beats having to hear it from Puck!" Santana yelled. "Not only was I humiliated but I was betrayed by both my girlfriend and my sister. Both of you have hurt me. And now I've lost you both. I can't do this." Santana looked away.

"What? Are…Are you breaking up with me?" Brittany asked tears flowing now that she couldn't hold them back. Santana looked at her with pain in her eyes as she said the one word that would kill her inside.

"Yes."

Santana left Brittany there crying as soon as the word left to her lips. She couldn't bear seeing her now ex-girlfriend crying. She exited the school and headed straight to the parking lot. She ran through the light rain towards her car. She got in her car and started it. Her insides felt twisted and turned. She felt sick to her stomach. She leaned against her steering wheel and cried. She hated Valeria for what she did. She hated herself for not seeing it to begin with. But most of all she regretted breaking up with Brittany. She knew it wasn't her fault. Still Santana was too stubborn and too hurt to take it back. She pulled out of the parking spot and just drove. She didn't know where she was going she just needed to go somewhere. So she just kept going without a destination.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Quinn sat at the lunch table bored, paying zero attention to the conversations happening around her.

"Did you hear what happened with Santana, Valeria, and Brittany?" Quinn's head shot up when she heard Tina say their names.

"Wait what happened?" Quinn asked, worried.

"Well I heard Santana and Brittany broke up," Tina continued.

"What?" Quinn asked, shocked.

"Yep. Apparently, Valeria confessed her love to Brittany and then Santana found out about it and about the kiss at the party. That's why they all aren't here." Quinn couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Where did they go?" she heard Sam ask, concerned.

"I don't know where Santana went. Her car is gone though. Brittany, I think, is at the nurse's office lying down. And last I heard Valeria was seen sleeping in the choir room." Quinn quickly got up from the table and walked off. She slowed when she heard a pair of footsteps following her.

"What are you going to do?" Rachel's voice came from behind her. Quinn turned and waited for her to fully catch up before continuing down the hall.

"I don't know. Thankfully practice is canceled today so I think I'll just take Valeria home with me. No way she can go back to her house. Not now anyway. Santana may be there." Rachel nodded in understanding.

"And Brittany?" Quinn thought about it before turning to Rachel.

"Could you please take her home after school? I think she is going to be in the nurse's for a while." Rachel smiled and nodded her head yes. They continued to the choir room. Rachel waited at the door as Quinn carefully picked Valeria up in her arms. When Valeria stirred Quinn hushed her in a calming, gentle voice. "Shh it's okay. It is just me. Go back to sleep. I'm going to take you home." Valeria tiredly wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and nuzzled her face into Quinn's chest as Quinn got a better grip on her.

"You're really gentle with her. You care about her don't you?" Rachel asked softly when Quinn walked towards her. Quinn looked at her confused. 'Is she jealous?'

"Um... Yeah. I guess I do. She is my friend," Quinn answered as Rachel followed her to the parking lot.

The rain had died down to a soft drizzle when they reached Quinn's car. Rachel helped Quinn put Valeria in the passenger seat. When Quinn closed the door and then she looked back up to Rachel.

"You really are a good friend." Rachel smiled and kissed Quinn on the cheek. Quinn blushed but quickly tried to play it off.

"Um... Thank you. For helping me with them." Quinn looked down at the ground shyly.

"You are very welcome. I better get back." Rachel smiled. She waved goodbye and Quinn got in the driver's seat. She pulled out of the parking lot and headed to her house. Half way there she looked over to the sleeping Valeria. She couldn't help but feel responsible for her pain.

'You just had to let them kiss. You just had to tell her to tell the truth. What is wrong with you? Why must you always cause others pain?' She looked over at Valeria again.

"I'm sorry I did this to you." She whispered. She looked back to the road with determined eyes.

"I will make it up to you. I promise." She drove a little longer in the quiet car with nothing but her thoughts and the occasional sniffle or hiccup from Valeria. After another ten minutes she finally pulled onto her block. She parked in her drive way and went over to the passenger seat. She opened the door, ran to her front door and unlocked it before running back to her car and getting Valeria. She carefully picked her up in her arms and carried her inside and laid her on the bed. She pulled the blankets over her and tucked her in. She looked down at her sad face.

"Please make it through this. I shouldn't have done what I did. Please forgive me," she whispered as she brushed the stray hairs from Valeria's face. She grabbed Valeria's phone and texted her mother letting her know Valeria was going to spend the night with her. She looked down at the phone when it vibrated in her hand. She read the text from Armina.

"_Hey are you okay? I heard what happened. Where are you?" _She pondered on it before texting back.

"_I'm fine. I couldn't stay there though so I'm at a friend's house. Thank you for worrying. I'll talk to you tomorrow." _She pressed send and looked at Valeria.

'Tomorrow you'll go back to the only person who can help you now,' Quinn thought as she placed the phone on the bed side table. She then headed to the kitchen to make some tea.

"Nothing to heal a broken soul like a warm cup of tea." She said to herself as the house became silent again.

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**Alright before I get a whole bunch of hate mail about the break up. Please calm down. They are endgame. Trust me things will get better. Eventually. Anyways leave me reviews with your opinion. Let me know what you want to see happen. Thank you for all of your support so far. Hopefully this ends the way you guys want. Thanks again for reading **

**This part and the entire story is inspired by this post: ** tagged/fucking-roleplay-makes-me-so-emotional-omg-lksdajgkldjg

**And you can hear the song playing on Valeria's Galaxy here: ** watch?v=_841CxmFMII


	9. Chapter 8: Stars

Armina looked down at her phone from under her desk in government class.

_"I'm fine. I couldn't stay there though so I'm at a friend's house. Thank you for worrying. I'll talk to you tomorrow."_

She read the text unsure. She was glad Valeria was okay. But she was still very confused. She didn't know whether to be happy that she was going to see Valeria again, or still be angry about before.

'What is wrong with you? You can't hold a grudge on her for something so stupid. She was just having fun. It's not that big of a deal. You can't let your own selfish feelings get in the way of your friendship with her.'

Armina put her phone back in her bag and looked at the open text book in front of her. She tried to focus and read the text on the page in front of her but her mind kept going back to one thing. Valeria. She looked out the window and into the sky. Even during the day she could still see the moon. It was very faint but still bright enough to see. A smile crossed her face when her memories took her back in time.

_"Valeria, guess what. I just got my license," Armina cheered out happily as she stood at the front door of Valeria's house. _

_"What? No way! Okay you have to take me somewhere. Let me get my shoes." Valeria excitedly rushed up the stairs__.__ Armina couldn't help but giggle when she tripped on the top step. Valeria looked back and caught her trying to muffle her laughter with her hand. Armina couldn't help but feel warm inside when she saw her friend blush in embarrassment. After a very short minute__,__ Valeria came rushing back down the stairs now wearing her sandals. _

_"Come on." Valeria pulled on Armina's hand as she ran out the door. Armina barely managed to pull the door shut as Valeria dragged her across the street. _

_"So is your mom going to let you borrow the car?" Valeria asked jumping impatiently in place. _

_"Calm down. That's something else I wanted to tell you." Armina paused loving the shocked expression on her friends face._

_"There's more? Tell me please!__"__ She begged acting like a toddler. Armina laughed again at how childish the taller brunette was behaving. She would never admit it but she loved it when Valeria acted this way. It always seemed to make her heart beat faster and slower at the same time. _

_"Well, my brother just got a new car. So my mom bought his old one for me," Armina announced as she jingled the keys in front of her. _

_"You're getting the Camaro?" Valeria's eyes went wide in shock. _

_"What? No, not that brother. Gilbert," Armina corrected as she walked over to the Chevy El Camino in the drive way._

_"Oh." Valeria's excitement faded for a brief moment__then she shrugged and her energy returned. _

_"Whatever. It's still a cool car. You are so lucky. I failed my driver's test so I can't drive yet. But hopefully soon right?" she smiled as she went over to the passenger seat. She got in and buckled her seat belt. _

_"So? What do you think?" Armina asked nervously. _

_"Do you like it?" Valeria looked over at her._

_"I love it."_

_"Then I love it too. It's cute. Like a mini truck. Only it doesn't look annoying like a truck." Valeria laughed looking around the inside of the car. _

_"Yeah, you're right. So where exactly am I taking you?" Armina asked as she turned on the ignition and a huge grin spread across Valeria's face._

_"You'll see. Just go where I say to." _

_Armina rolled her eyes but backed out and on to her street. She drove for a good forty minutes following Valeria's horrible directions. Honestly it was no wonder she couldn't get her license. Eventually they arrived to their destination. Valeria had Armina park on the edge of the top of a small ditch that led into a small manmade beach. It wasn't much of a beach per say. More like a very small lake with sand around it. It belonged to the nearby park. The city brought in the sand thinking it would help children who have never seen a real beach be able to feel included. Honestly Armina thought it was a stupid idea, but Valeria seemed to love it. _

_"So what are we doing here?" Armina asked as they got out of her car looking around. It was late and the sun had just gone down. It seemed they were the only ones there. She saw a rabbit eating away at the sand filled grass near by the trees. As she continued to look around she noticed the small playground nearby. At first she figured that's where they were going to go but thought differently when she saw Valeria climb into the bed of her car. _

_"What are you doing?" She asked._

_"Just come here." Valeria motioned for her to join her. Armina narrowed her eyes suspiciously but got in the back with her anyway. _

_"Now what?" she asked curiously. _

_"Now you look up." Valeria grinned leaning back and looking up. They were far enough from any street lights that they could actually see the stars. _

_"Isn't it beautiful?" Valeria looked over at Armina. _

_"Yeah it is." Armina smiled looking Valeria in the eyes. Her gaze traveled down to her lips and back to her eyes again. She wanted so badly to lean in and kiss her right then but she knew better. Valeria turned her head and looked up again. _

_"Tell me a story of the stars," Valeria demanded._

_"Which one?" _

_"Any of them. All of them. I don't care__.__ I just want to hear a story." _

_Armina thought about it for a moment. She smiled as she recalled the story of the Gemini twins. How some believed they came from the story of Artemis and Apollo. She told her the story of Orion. How the Scorpion got into the sky and why it is so close to Orion. She told the story of Leo the Lion. Every constellation with a story, she told. She waved her arms and pointed at each star to connect the dots. Throughout it all, her face was full of so much life. She got so lost in all the detail she didn't notice Valeria was staring at her. _

_"What?" She asked confused._

_"Nothing. I just really love it when you talk about the stars. You always seem so happy. It makes me happy." Valeria smiled as she snuggled up into Armina's arm._

"Alright class, remember we have a test on Thursday. I expect everyone to be prepared." Her teacher's voice interrupted her thoughts and snapped her back into reality. Armina quickly put up her things when she noticed everyone leaving. She hurried out the door glad that was her last class. She made her way to her car and stopped before getting in. She looked at the back of her car and smiled at the memory. Eventually she got in and drove off to her house.

She dreaded all of the homework she knew had to be done. Sometimes she wished she could be careless and not do what she was supposed to. But she knew doing that would mean failing and that would break her mother's heart. She arrived home and was greeted at the door by yelling. Her two younger brothers were fighting in the leaving room.

"Give it back!"

"No!"

"It's mine!"

"Too bad."

"Stop being such a douche!"

"What did you say?" Armina yelled as she pulled Ruben, her ten year old brother and the youngest of her siblings, by the ear and off of Anthony, her fourteen year old brother.

"What? He won't give me back my phone!" he yelled.

"No! First off you spoiled brat, you do not talk back or raise your voice to your elders. And you most definitely don't do it to me. Second, you do not call your brother a douche. 'Specially when you don't even know what that word means. He is your brother and we love each other! And third, you do not use language like that in front of a lady," she lectured. She turned to the other brother.

"Why did you take his phone?" she asked Anthony as she smacked him across the back of his head.

"I didn't take anything. He left it on the floor, the dumb ass." Armina shot him a glare when he raised his voice.

"What did I just say? Learn some manners. Do you want people to think badly of mom like she can't even raise respectable children?" she asked crossing her arms. Anthony looked down at the ground in shame.

"No ma'am."

"Then watch what comes out of your mouth. Now give me the phone."

Anthony did as he was told. Armina grabbed the phone and held it away when Ruben tried reaching for it.

"Next time I see this phone on the floor or not put up you don't get it back. Do you understand?"

The boy nodded his head.

"You should be grateful you even have a phone so young. I didn't get my first phone till I was fourteen. And it wasn't a smart phone either. It was a cheap flip one. Think of that and go tell mom you love her. Now!" Armina commanded as she gave him back his phone. He took off running up the stairs with a smile on his face. Armina just rolled her eyes as she headed up the stairs.

"Jeez. Sometimes you are stricter mother than our actual mom," Gilbert, her nineteen year old brother, joked as he passed her on the stairs.

"It's more strict, you ignorant twat." she turned and snapped at him. He just laughed as he waved at her over his shoulder.

"So much for not raising your voice at elders and for loving your brothers," he teased when he reached the bottom step.

"I am just stating the truth!" she yelled at him. He turned with a grin on his face.

"You really need a girlfriend. Maybe then you wouldn't be such a bitch."

"At least I'm not nineteen, jobless, an art school drop out, and still living with my mother," she countered.

He rolled his eyes and left towards the kitchen. Armina growled under her breath in anger as she continued up the steps and to her room. The only perk of being the only girl in a family with five children was she had her own room. She didn't have to share it like her brothers did. She closed and locked her door behind her and tossed her bag next to her desk. She sat at her desk and pulled out her laptop to write one of her many papers that was due by the end of the week.

A couple hours later she had finally finished with the majority of her homework. She stood up and stretched out popping her fingers. She walked over to her private bathroom for a quick shower. Another perk of being the only girl, her own bathroom. She spent about ten minutes showering before she finished and got out. She walked over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. She walked over and took her IPod out of her bag. She lazily let her body drop on her bed before putting on the head phones and pressing play.

_She sets up high, surrounded by the sun_

_One million branches and she loves everyone. _

_Mom and dad, did you search for me? _

_I've been up here so long I'm going crazy._

She heard the words of "Hold onto May" play through into her head. A tear slid down her cheek as she began to think of Valeria.

_"Valeria! What are you doing up there?" a young fourteen year old Armina looked up the tall oak tree. She saw Valeria sitting high up on one of the thicker branches. _

_"I'm waiting for Santana," Valeria hollered down. Armina froze in place. She had seen Santana earlier that day entering a movie theater with Brittany._

_"I don't think she is coming," Armina called up. She watched Valeria smile and shook her head._

_"She will. Today's the last cool fall day before winter starts. We always come up here and watch the sunset together. Every year. She'll come. It's tradition." Valeria's innocent face was bright and confident. Armina felt a sharp pain in her chest when she thought of that smile ever disappearing. _

_"Fine, I'll wait with you." Armina grabbed a hold of a branch and used it to hoist herself up. She climbed the limbs until she was next to Valeria. Valeria gave her a huge grin._

_"What?" Armina asked confused._

_"Isn't it just beautiful up here? Doesn't it just feel great?" Valeria asked swinging her legs and taking in a deep breath of the chilled air._

_Armina couldn't help but smile at how adorable Valeria looked. _

_"Yeah. It really is." They stared off onto the horizon. They could just barely see the tops of a few houses far off in front of them. They stayed that way, just in silence enjoying the view for a good hour. The sun was now going down and getting ready to set. _

_"She isn't coming," Armina said, softly patting Valeria's back. _

_"No, she is. She has to. She promised she would be here today. We have been planning this all week." Valeria's expression grew sad and desperate. _

_"You're right. She'll come." Armina hugged her friend tightly. Even as she said those words she knew they weren't true. _

Armina shook the memory from her mind. She didn't want to have to think of the pain she saw in Valeria that night. She got up to turn off the light and returned to get under the covers. She turned in her bed all night. To upset to sleep. She wished Valeria was there with her now. She could only imagine what she must be feeling right now. Being rejected by not only the one you love but your sister as well. She knew Valeria would be in pain. Valeria was sensitive to rejection. It was her main weakness. Armina closed her eyes yearning to be near her so she could hold her and comfort her. She reached out her hand into the darkness and imagined Valeria was there with her. She imagined stroking her cheek and wiping her tears away. She imagined her warmth radiating from her body. She imagined Valeria leaning into her. Wanting only her. She dropped her hand with a sigh.

'What are you thinking? Valeria will never see you like that. No matter what you do, she will never love you the way that you love her.' Armina closed her eyes and began to cry silently. It took several hours before her body would allow her to finally fall asleep. But even as she slept she had no break from the pain. Because as always she dreamed of Valeria.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me to see that people are actually reading this. Also I love reading the reviews so thank you and remember every time you review I get motivated to update quicker. ;) Here is the Song Armina listened to. This song really hits home for me because it reminds me of my younger sister and I. So check it out. Maybe you'll love it to. **

watch?v=nFoBBVmsgcc


	10. Chapter 9: longing

The last bell rang and Rachel Berry made her way to the nurses' office with a determination. She wanted so badly to make everything right. But mostly, to none of her conscious minds knowledge, she wanted to help to please Quinn. She entered the office slowly and quietly, unsure if Brittany was asleep behind the white curtains. The nurse, who was sitting at her desk, looked up at Rachel with a questioning look. Rachel just tilted her shoulders and pointed to the white curtain as if to ask permission. The nurse looked back down at her work and waved her hand at Rachel. In response Rachel quietly nodded a 'thank you' and made her way to the curtains. She pushed the curtain aside and silently walked in.

Quinn had been correct. Brittany was still there. Rachel couldn't help but frown upon seeing the blonde. Brittany was curled into a tight ball with her back to Rachel. This made it very difficult for Rachel to tell if she were awake or not. She carefully made her way around the bed and leaned forward to peek at the silent girl's face. She was surprised to see Brittany's eyes open. Rachel put on a smile and waved as she sat in the seat directly across from her. Brittany, however, just kept staring into space. Occasionally she would sniffle but for the most part she was silent. Not knowing what to say she just watched Brittany. Her eyes were red and there were traces of now dry tears along the edges of her nose and cheeks. After a good ten minutes Rachel thought it would be best to just try and take her home.

"Brittany. Sweetie. I am here to take you home now okay?" Rachel announced in as calm and soothing a voice she could. When Brittany didn't move right away Rachel got up and tried to help her. She managed to get her to stand up and led her out of the school and to her car. She helped Brittany get in and carefully closed the door. When she turned to walk to the driver's side she bumped into someone tall. She looked up and saw Finn looking down at her puzzled.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm taking Brittany home," Rachel replied quickly.

"Oh. I thought you were going to stay and watch me practice."

Rachel looked up at him to see if he was serious.

"Finn, I need to help a friend out. I can watch you practice tomorrow."

Finn scrunched up his face in anger.

"But I'm your boyfriend. Shouldn't I come first? Besides why would you help Brittany? She doesn't do anything when Santana makes jokes about you."

Rachel gave him a challenging look.

"Seriously? She just broke up with her girlfriend and is hurting. I need to help her." She pushed passed him and walked around her car to the driver's door. "And besides neither do you," she pointed out as she opened the door and looked at Finn one more time.

"I never thought you could be so selfish." Rachel got in the car and drove off leaving a dumbfounded Finn in her rearview mirror. She drove uneasy to Brittany's house. She couldn't help but look over at the heartbroken girl.

"I'm sorry about Finn. He normally isn't like that." She watched as Brittany just stared out the window in silence. She stopped at a red light and looked over again.

"Yea he is. You just never see it," Brittany said, breaking her silence while still looking out the window. Rachel looked forward then back at her surprised that she was speaking. She wasn't expecting an answer so it took a while for what the blonde said to sink in.

"What do you mean? He isn't... He's a good guy."

Brittany finally looked over to Rachel with a blank expression.

"He's an ass hole. Everyone knows it but you," she said bluntly.

Rachel suddenly felt defensive.

"No he isn't. He is sweet and caring and you have no right to call him that. Especially when Santana is such a bitch."

"Yes, Santana can be a bitch. But at least she acknowledges it and doesn't pretend to be the hero. And she isn't selfish. She thinks of me and supports me and does whatever she can to make me happy," she paused, thinking back to the day's events, "Today's actions aside. But Finn mocks you. He expects you to drop everything for him. When he sleeps with someone else; it is okay. You kiss someone else; you're a horrible person. He doesn't defend his friends or you. He sits around playing the victim. He whines about how much of a loser he is and does nothing to change it. He complains for sympathy and when he gets it isn't enough. He doesn't appreciate you. He only wants what he can't have. He cheats on Quinn with you then manipulates her to cheat on Sam. He wants you to drop your dreams for him and he outed Santana to all of Ohio. But sorry. You're right. He isn't an asshole," Brittany said sarcastically before looking out the window again. Rachel looked forward speechless. The light turned green and she continued to drive. They stayed silent as Rachel took in all that Brittany had said.

"Either way, I love him," Rachel said more to convince herself than Brittany.

"No you don't. But he is the safe pick and familiar so you stay with him none the less." Brittany didn't look at her. She just watched the pavement as they drove on. After a minute or so Brittany turned back to Rachel.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that about someone you are dating," she apologized.

Rachel shook her head.

"No, it's fine. I probably would have done the same if the roles were reversed. Besides you made me think. So thank you."

Brittany smiled a tight lip smiled as they passed Santana's street.

"Oh, I forgot. Do you mind taking me to Santana's instead? I left my car there."

Rachel looked at the road and back at Brittany. She bit her lip unsure.

"Is that really a good idea?"

Brittany nodded her head.

"I know things are bad now but they'll get better." Brittany gave Rachel a sincere look.

"How do you know?"

"Because I have known Santana for ten years now. I know her better than I know myself. She feels betrayed and her pride was hurt. But I love her and I have to believe she loves me too. So I know she'll come around eventually. What I did was horrible. But she'll forgive me."

Rachel saw her look forward as a tear fell from her eye.

"How can you be so sure?" Rachel asked needing to know the answer. To hear it out loud. Not just for Brittany's sake but for her own as well.

Brittany turned and smiled her first real smile since Rachel saw her this morning.

"Because I have to believe it to be true. If I didn't, I wouldn't know what I'd do next. So this is the only option." Brittany shrugged. Rachel thought about it before making a U-turn. She drove for a bit before turning onto Santana's street. She made her way down the block till she was directly in front of the house.

"Are you sure you'll be fine to drive home?" Rachel asked as Brittany opened the door.

"I'll be fine. Thanks Rach. For everything." Brittany leaned in and gave a Rachel a hug.

"It was nice talking with you some. Believe it or not. You know you're a lot smarter than I thought you were." Rachel smiled sweetly.

"And you aren't as annoying as I thought you were." Brittany got out of the car and Rachel watched as she got into her own. She turned around and drove off seeing Brittany follow her in the rear view mirror. When she got to the end of the street instead of turning left to go to her house, she found herself turning right. She wasn't sure why exactly but for some reason she had a sudden urge to go see Quinn.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Quinn heard a knock on her door from where she was sitting on the couch. She got up and made her way over to answer it. She opened the door and was shocked to see Rachel standing there.

"Um... Hey Rach. What are you doing here?"

Rachel smiled and shrugged.

"I um, I came to tell you that I took Brittany home. Well I was but then she had me take her to Santana's to get her car. But now she is home. I think. Oh my goodness. I am a horrible friend. I didn't even make sure she got home safely. What is wrong with me?" Rachel began to babble in a panic.

"Rachel, Rachel. Calm down. Breathe. I am sure she is fine. Brittany can get home by herself. Give her some credit. She's not a helpless idiot."

Rachel calmed down and looked to the side.

"Yeah, I figured that out while talking to her."

There was an awkward silence before Quinn realized they were still standing at the door.

"I'm sorry. I'm being rude. Would you like to come in?" she offered. Rachel nodded her head as a 'thank you' and walked in. She looked around curiously.

"I've never been to your house before. It's beautiful."

Quinn closed the door and turned to face her.

"Thank you. So, would you like something to drink?" she offered nervously.

"Yes please."

Quinn made her way to the kitchen as Rachel followed. She walked over to the fridge and opened it.

"We have soy milk, orange juice, apple juice, sprite, mineral water, ice tea, and lemonade. What would you like?" She looked over to Rachel.

"Oh, um. Water is fine, thank you." Rachel smiled politely. Quinn grabbed two bottles of mineral water and handed one to Rachel. They became silent again. Quinn took a drink of her water not sure what to say.

"Quinn do you think I'm in love with Finn?" Rachel asked suddenly.

Quinn almost choked on her water when she heard the question.

"Um... I... I don't.. How would I know?" Quinn stumbled on her words.

"Please, I need an honest answer."

"I... I think you love certain things about him."

"That's not what I asked." Rachel placed her water on the counter and crossed her arms, frustrated.

Quinn sighed about to answer when she was beaten by the sound of water running upstairs and footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Quinn, I'm about to shower. Do you want to join me?" Valeria's voice was heard as the footsteps got closer and Valeria turned the corner into the doorway of the kitchen wearing nothing but a purple pair of laced panties.

"Rachel!" Valeria exclaimed in shock as she quickly tried to cover herself with the door frame.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here." Valeria blushed, and Quinn mentally smacked her own head.

'Of course. This would be happening to me.,' Quinn thought to herself embarrassed.

"Oh, um no. I came unannounced. It is my fault for intruding. But I was just leaving. Quinn." Rachel gave her a slight nod before turning to Valeria. "Valeria, I'll see you two tomorrow." She put her hand to cover her side view as she made her way to the door and left.

"I am so sorry. I had no idea I swear. I wouldn't have-" Quinn raised her hand to stop her.

"What's done is done. Besides she came to talk about Finn. That is something I cannot handle right now." Quinn walked passed Valeria and up the stairs.

"Come on, let's take that shower," Quinn called over her shoulder. Quinn made her way to her room and began stripping her clothes as she walked to her bathroom. When Valeria followed her in Quinn quickly pulled her into the shower and began to kiss her. Quinn let herself go as her kisses became wilder and harder. She deepened the kiss as her tongue made its way around Valeria's while she ran her hand through the brunette's now wet hair. She grabbed on and pulled slightly causing Valeria to bite onto her lower lip like she wanted. Valeria's hands wrapped around to her back and Quinn moaned when the brunette dug her fingernails in. Quinn separated their lips and went straight for Valeria's neck.

"You're very eager today," Valeria teased and then let out a whimpered moan when Quinn grabbed onto her right breast and squeezed. Quinn kissed down her neck, nibbling periodically on her way down. She continued down until she reached her cleavage. She bit down and sucked on the top of her left breast causing the girl to moan again. Quinn could feel Valeria's heart beat faster. She felt the water that splashed off of Valeria sprinkle onto her back giving her goose bumps. She loved the feeling. The chills that went down her spine. She made her way down further and stopped at Valeria's navel. Valeria tangled her hands into Quinn's hair as she lightly tried to push her down more. Quinn smiled mischievously as she looked up at Valeria.

"You care about me, right?" Quinn asked suddenly. Valeria looked done at her with a questioning look.

"What? Of course I do," Valeria answered seriously.

Quinn nodded satisfied as she kissed Valeria's navel and made her way lower. She kissed the inner part of her thighs and grinned when she felt Valeria's body tremble. She opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue to eat away at Valeria's core. She heard Valeria moan in pleasure and she sped up her pace.

'No, I can't fix you. But I can help. I'll send you into the arms of someone who can. I may not be loved. But at least I'm cared for. And for now that's all I need from you,' Quinn thought to herself as she felt Valeria reach her peak. Quinn got up and kissed Valeria again allowing her to taste herself. She felt Valeria slow the kiss to a stop and she pulled back confused.

"What?"

"Now, who is making a habit out of this?"

Quinn didn't respond. Instead she reached around Valeria to grab the shampoo. She began to lather it into her hair as Valeria frowned. Quinn traded places with Valeria and began to rinse the shampoo from her hair. Valeria remained silent as she grabbed the bottle and began to scrub her hair.

It took a good forty minutes for both of them to finish, dry their hair and get dress. They lay on Quinn's bed Quinn with her head in Valeria's lap as Valeria played with her hair.

"When you were younger and were scared, did your mother ever say any words to make things better?" Valeria broke the silence. Quinn shook her head.

"The only time my mother has ever said anything serious or emotional to me was last year after Nationals when I cut my hair. But believe me it wasn't something to make me better."

"What did she say?" Valeria asked as she ran her fingers lightly through Quinn's short blonde hair.

"We were eating dinner. She told me my dad was sick. When I didn't respond, she asked if I even cared. I told her an honest no and she looked at me for the first time with fear in her eyes. All she did was look me straight in the eyes and ask 'Did you become a monster trying to be like me?' It was strange. And then she got up from the table and went to bed. We didn't say anything else about it after that," Quinn explained remembering that night. Her dad got better of course. But some part of Quinn wished he never did.

"You hurt a lot, don't you?" Valeria stated. Quinn just stayed silent.

"Santana says you're too pretty for your own good. That's why you destroy everything you touch." Quinn thought about what Valeria had just said before answering.

"And what do you think?"

"I think she is wrong. I think there is something deeper to you. Something sadder. I can feel it when you kiss me. When you kiss me it feels like you just want to be loved."

Quinn stared into the distance, thinking.

'You have held on to her for too long. It's time to let her go. It's time to let it all go.' She closed her eyes, choosing her next words carefully.

"I think it's time for you to leave."

"What?" Quinn got up and walked over to her vanity to brush out her hair.

"I said it's time for you to leave. You are of no use to me anymore. Go." Quinn kept her eyes cold as she watched her own reflection. Valeria got up and walked to the door.

"Fine, but you can't keep pushing everyone away. And I expect you to keep your end of the deal. I told Brittany. It's your turn." And with that Valeria made her way out the door. Quinn looked at herself again and began to cry.

'Why not tell Rachel? Everything else has gone to hell so why not add one more thing,' she thought as she got up and went back to her bed where she waited for the day to end.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Valeria ended up walking home. It took her two hours to get there by foot. The sun had just gone down and Valeria was relieved to see her sister's car wasn't home. She walked in and saw her mom sitting on the couch watching her novela.

"Mija is that you?" Her mother turned and smiled when she saw Valeria.

"Hola Mami. Como fue tu día?" Valeria put on a smile.

"Buen, come sit with me." Her mom patted the spot next to her.

"I'd love to Mami but I'm just picking up some clothes. I have a project due so I am staying the night with Armina again to finish it," Valeria lied. She didn't want her mother to worry any more than she already did.

"Alright. But at least wait till your sister gets home before you leave."

"I'm kind of in a hurry Mami. I really need to get this done." She walked up the stairs and grabbed her backpack. She put some clothes in it and made her way back down stairs.

"Bye Mami, I love you." She quickly kissed her mother's cheek before making her way out of the house and running across the street. She knocked on the door and smiled when Armina answered.

"Hey. Can I stay here for a bit?" Valeria smiled innocently. Armina sighed but opened the door wider letting her in. They headed upstairs and stayed silent as Valeria sat on Armina's bed. Armina went back to typing an essay at her desk.

"It's quiet," Valeria said, finally breaks the silence.

"Yeah, Ruben is at a friend's, Gilbert is at his girlfriends, and Anthony is on an overnight fieldtrip or something," Armina answered before going back to her computer.

"Do you see Marcelo anymore?" Valeria asked about Armina's oldest brother.

"Yeah from time to time. Him and Ociel came by last weekend actually."

"Oh that's nice. How is Oso?" Valeria asked about Ociel, Marcelo's girlfriend.

"She's good," Armina answered not up for small talk. Instead of talking, she began thinking about Ociel and couldn't help but smile. Ociel was the youngest of six girls. Her dad really wanted a boy so when she came out a girl he named her after his dad anyway and raised her like the boy he never got. Armina remembered when Ociel met Valeria for the first time. She knew right away of Armina's feelings towards Valeria. Ociel had always been a big help when it came to talking about feelings. And Armina was thankful for her. The day Valeria and Ociel met was the day everyone was home at once so Armina's mother decided to make a dinner to celebrate. She remembered that night three years ago when Ociel had confronted her after watching all through dinner.

_Armina heard a knock on her door. She looked up from her work, _

"_Come in." She answered. Seconds later Ociel had opened the door slowly and walked in a smile on her face._

"_Hey, how's it going?"_

"_Good. Doing some homework." Armina answered picking up her text book as if to prove her statement. _

"_That's cool. So where did your friend go?" Ociel asked entering the room complete and sitting on the edge of Armina's bed._

"_She went home." Armina looked back down and back to her work._

"_So.. Does she know?" Ociel gave her a curious smile._

"_Know what?" Armina looked back up at her confused._

"_Oh come on. You haven't told her?"_

"_Told her what?" Armina shrugged not understanding a thing Ociel was saying._

"_How could she not have figured it out? I mean you are so obvious." Ociel giggled._

"_Are you going to tell me what it is we are talking about here? Because if not I have things to do." Armina sighed frustrated as she pointed back down to her work. _

"_That you are in love with her silly." _

_Armina's eyes went wide with shock. _

"_What. How. Who told you?" Armina asked nervously. _

"_No one had to tell me. It's written all over your face. Seriously you really need to watch your leering problem." Ociel laughed. _

_Armina looked down ashamed._

"_She doesn't know does she?" _

_Armina shook her head no. _

"_She doesn't see me that way." Armina tried holding back the tear that was threatening to fall._

"_You never know till you try__." Ociel __smiled leaning down to try and get Armina to look at her._

"_When you finally do tell her. I want to hear all ab__out it. Until then I'll be rooting for you." Ociel lifted her head when Armina finally looked up at her. _

"_Thanks." Armina gave her a tight lip smile._

"_For sure. Now if you'll excuse me I have to take your brother home before he gets cranky." Ociel joked and Armina couldn't help but giggle._

"So... Are you still mad at me?" Valeria interrupted Armina's thoughts. Armina shut her computer and got up.

"No I'm not mad. Now scoot over," she demanded as she got into the bed next to Valeria.

Valeria had a huge grin on her face as she did what she was told. Armina turned out her side lamp and rolled over hugging her blanket.

"Thanks Minny. For letting me stay." Armina blushed as Valeria used her old childhood nickname she gave her.

She closed her eyes and whispered a 'you're welcome' before going to sleep.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**So I hoped you liked it. And in case you didn't know, Oso means bear in Spanish. Not really relevant but still a fun fact. Leave reviews and let me know what you think **


	11. Chapter 10: quinn

**So this chapter is has some Faberry. And Santana Hope you like it. **

Quinn looked down at the note in her hand one last time before kissing it for luck and placing it in one of the horizontal slots of Rachel's locker. She sighed nervously knowing it was too late to back out now. She turned and walked down the hall to her last class. She took her normal seat and began to doodle. She kept looking towards the clock, anxious for the bell to ring. She wanted to get to Glee club. Just thinking about it sent butterflies fluttering wildly in her stomach. She didn't know what was going to happen but she knew things were going to change.

Finally after what felt like an eternity the bell rang and Quinn rushed to leave. She ended up being the first one to the choir room. Brad wasn't even there yet. She sat in her seat and watched the door waiting not so patiently for Rachel to enter. She had hoped Rachel got a chance to read her note asking to meet after Glee club. Her heart beat quickened when she saw movement at the entrance but then soon went back to normal when she realized it was just Armina.

"Hey," the brunette greeted with a nod.

"Hey," Quinn responded, now looking at the girl sitting in front of her.

"So how is Valeria doing? I didn't see her in class today," she asked the girl, curious.

"Yeah she was really tired this morning so I let her stay in bed. Hopefully she doesn't get in too much trouble for missing so much school," Armina answered as she faced Quinn.

"Well at least she is getting some sleep." Quinn smiled politely.

There was an awkward silence as the girls looked in different directions.

"So... Are you singing today?" Armina asked trying to keep the conversation going.

"Um... Yeah I am."

"Cool, what song?"

"It's called "Drop in the ocean". It's by Ron Pope. But I am going to change it up a bit." Quinn looked to the entrance again when her eyes caught movement, but once again it wasn't who she thought it was. Santana walked in with a very sour expression on her face.

"What?!" She spat at the two girls as she took a seat to the far right.

"Nothing," the girls said in unison as they went back to talking to each other.

"So are you singing it for a certain reason?" Armina looked back at Quinn.

"Yeah. I am. I'm hoping things go well," Quinn finally answered after a moment's hesitation.

"Oh, well good luck." Armina turned forward as Kurt, Finn, Mike, Tina, and Mercedes walked in. The room was filled with chitchat and gossip as everyone waited for the club to begin. Puck and Sam walked in pushing each other and laughing. Quinn couldn't help but giggle in amusement at how childish they were behaving. After another five minutes, Sugar, Brittany, and Rachel finally made their way through the door laughing at something Sugar had said. Brittany's smile fell from her face when she looked up and saw Santana. Quinn watched as the girl quickly made her way to the far left. Sugar followed and sat in the seat next to her. Rachel had made eye contact with Quinn once she went to sit in the middle in the front row. Rachel gave her a nod and a smile before turning to face forward. Finally once everyone had arrived Mr. Schue stood in the front and announced Quinn would be singing. Quinn got up nervously and walked to the front of the room.

"So I picked a song I can relate to a lot. I hope it really helps to get my message out." Quinn began looking straight at Rachel. She nodded her head for the music to begin and closed her eyes taking one last deep breath. She opened her mouth and let her voice free.

_A drop in the ocean, _

_A change in the weather,_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together._

_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_

_But I'm holding you closer than most,_

_Cause you are my heaven._

She opened her eyes and they immediately found Rachel's, who was watching her very closely and locked onto them. In that moment she became lost in those eyes. The rest of the room disappeared and all she saw was her gold star.

_I don't wanna waste the weekend,_

_If you don't love me, pretend_

_A few more hours, then it's time to go._

She continued with the song not once breaking eye contact with Rachel. She couldn't help the anxious feeling she had in the pit of her stomach. She tried to push the feeling away and continued to sing hoping not to embarrass herself by accident.

_By the grace of God, I do not rest at all_

_And New England as the leaves change;_

_I was a girl who loved a woman like a little girl._

She closed her eyes and a small tear escaped. She hoped no one noticed as she kept on singing. Every word that came out of her mouth was powered with the one thing on her mind. Rachel Berry. She opened her eyes again as she finished the song.

_A drop in the ocean a change in the weather,_

_I was praying that you and me might end up together._

She smiled nervously as the room clapped. All but Rachel, who was staring at her with a very confused expression on her face.

"Wow, amazing. That was great Quinn. Thank you." Mr. Schue pulled her attention away from the short brunette. Quinn smiled politely before heading back to her seat. The rest of the club went by like a blur. She completely blocked out Mr. Schue's voice and also Mercedes and then Tina singing their respective songs. All her focus was on the back of Rachel's head. She kept it there as if it were possible to tell what she was thinking by staring hard enough. She was so distracted she almost missed Mr. Schue ending the club for the day. She snapped back into focus as she went straight for the auditorium to wait.

It took fifteen minutes before Rachel finally came.

"Sorry it took a while. I was with Finn. He's upset I am blowing him off again." Rachel shrugged as if it were old news.

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you came." Quinn smiled at the thought of Rachel putting her before Finn.

"I got your note. I'll admit I was a bit shocked to see you wanted to meet with me. Shocked but also glad. And might I add beautiful penmanship. That is one skill that is vastly underappreciated in this day and age." Rachel rambled nervously looking to the ground.

"Relax. I asked you to meet me because I wanted to tell you something. It kind of has something to do with the song I sang today." Quinn kept her voice calm but on the inside she was a complete wreck.

"Oh, were you going to ask me for vocal advice? Because I thought you did wonderfu-"

"No. That's not it. Though thank you," Quinn interrupted. She looked into Rachel's eyes and took a deep breath.

"You see, I sang that song as a way to say how I feel." She took another deep breath. "How I feel about you," she said slowly trying to read Rachel's expression as each word came out into the open.

"Is this a joke? Because if it is, it isn't funny. I thought we were becoming friends." Rachel suddenly became angry.

"What? No I... It's not a joke. I am completely serious. I'm trying to tell you…I'm trying to tell you that…that… I.. I love you Rachel Berry. You and only you." Quinn squeaked out the ending when she realized Rachel's expression hadn't changed.

"Why are you being so cruel? I know you like to make fun of me and-" Quinn's hearing became blurred at the sudden rejection on Rachel's face. And then it hit her. Rachel really thought she was trying to be cruel. That she was just lying about her feelings. Quinn quickly ran through ideas on how to convince Rachel that she was sincere but her body took action for her. Suddenly she was leaning down with her lips on Rachel's. She didn't know what was happening. But she didn't care. In that one kiss it felt like everything was right. She felt complete. All of her pain and loneliness was gone. And all that was left was love. Love for this girl who made her want to be better. Made her want to protect her. To spend every moment for the rest of eternity wrapped in her arms doing exactly this. Kissing the only one who made her feel anything other than hate and bitterness.

She felt Rachel give in to it and kiss back. She never believed she could feel this good. But the feeling was soon replaced by panic when she felt something wet hit her face. She pulled back quickly to see Rachel was now crying.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Please forgive me. I just... I thought..." She couldn't figure out what to say to make things right.

"No, it's okay. I liked the kiss," Rachel said with a smile as she wiped the tears from her face. "Honestly, I did. I'm just really happy. You have no idea how badly I wanted that to happen." Rachel continued with a calmer voice. Quinn smiled at what she was hearing.

"If you'd like we could do that again. And hopefully more often." Quinn looked down shyly not knowing what Rachel would respond with.

"I'd like that very much thank you."

Quinn looked up at her with a gleam in her eyes. Suddenly her face went blank.

"What about you and Finn?" She asked not wanting to know the answer.

"Honestly I have been thinking of leaving him for some time now. After talking with Brittany I realized I only dated him to better myself. You know how dramatic I can be sometimes. And well he is the star football player and in every movie they are the ones to date. But I was just kidding myself to think I could ever fall in love with him. And when I kiss him, it feels nothing like how it does when you kiss me." Rachel blushed. Quinn grabbed her hand and pulled her closer.

"Then if it is alright with you, I would really like to do that again." Rachel looked up at Quinn and nodded her head. Quinn leaned down and kissed her again. She tried to keep it soft and light but her body wouldn't allow it. She pressed hard and moved swiftly against Rachel's lips. She felt Rachel's hands tangle in her hair. She felt like she was on cloud nine. And for once everything in her life was perfect.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Santana entered her room and fell to her bed. She felt her face get wet from the tears as she began to cry again. She missed Brittany so much. But she couldn't really bring herself to apologize. She knew she had to. After all it was her fault they were no longer together. She looked over at the framed picture of them next to her bed. She smiled at Brittany's loving face. She felt a sharp pain in her chest when she thought about how that same face looked so upset today. And it was because of her. She wanted so much to see her smile again. To hold her again. To make all the hurt go away as if it never happened. But it did happen. And no matter how much she wanted, nothing could change the past.

She then looked over towards her sister's bed. Another rush of pain went through her. Normally she would look to her sister for comfort but now she couldn't. She felt so alone. She didn't know who else to turn to. So she just sat and cried. After a few moments she heard a knock on the door followed by her mother's voice.

"Santana? Mija, are you okay?" Her mother opened the door slowly and peeked in.

"Oh mija," she cooed when she saw Santana rolled onto her side crying. The woman walked in and sat down next to her.

"Dime, que te pasa?" Santana looked up to her mother as tears poured out of her.

"Mami, I broke up with Brittany." She moved into her mother and hugged her tightly as she cried into her.

"Qué? But why?"

"Because of some stupid reason. I was angry. And I just... I don't know what to do now. And I can't even talk to Valeria now." She continued to cry as her mother rubbed up and down her back.

"What? Why can't you talk to your sister? Did you two get into a fight too? Is this why she hasn't been around?" Her mother asked, concerned. Santana nodded into her mother's side.

"She... she is in love with Brittany," Santana let out between hiccups. Her mother laughed and Santana looked up at her, confused.

"Valeria is not in love with Brittany." The woman smiled down at her.

"How do you know that?"

"Oh sweetie. I have watched you two grow up so fast. And I'll admit there were times I wasn't sure what either of you were thinking. But this I know for a fact. Valeria is not in love with Brittany. I see how you look at her. Valeria doesn't look at her the same way. In fact the majority of time when Valeria looks at you and Brittany it's more jealousy that is in her eyes." She looked down at Santana and brushed the hair from her daughter's face.

"But that's because she is jealous the Brittany chose me. Isn't it?"

"Mija your sister can be very fragile sometimes. I worry about her. It seems to me that after losing your father, you and I were all she had left. And though I hate it I am always gone which just leaves you. Don't you think maybe she is feeling a bit lost?" Santana thought about it. She wasn't sure if what her mother was saying was true or not but she knew she missed her sister.

"Mija, she is your only sister. Don't waste precious time fighting with her." And with that her mother kissed her forehead, got up and left her there with her thoughts.

'No that can't be right. I am always spending time with her. Not just with Brittany. Mami's just getting old. She didn't see Val's face when I confronted her. She does love Brittany. Still, I really miss her.' Santana lay back in her bed and closed her eyes trying to go to sleep early.


	12. Chapter 11: Alone

**Hey guys sorry it took so long. To make up for it here is an extra long chapter. Things get intense in this chapter. I hope you guys like it. Also could you leave a review for this one? I really want to hear people's thoughts about it. I know this is a sore subject for a lot of people out there and I want to know what you guys think about it. Anyway I hope you like it. Also on the part of the song. It's better if you actually listen to the song while you read it. It makes things really come to life I think. Thanks again for reading. And the song is "Don't go" by bring me the horizon. Again I hope you guys like it. **

Valeria woke up that Friday morning to the sound of Armina moving around the room. She yawned before deciding it was about time she went back to school. She had spent the week hiding out at Armina's But it was time to stop hiding. She stretched out and looked over to Armina who was standing in front of a long door mirror curling her hair.

"G'morning," Valeria mumbled as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Well good morning to you. Are you finally going to grace the peasants at school with your presence?" Armina asked in a dull tone not looking away from the mirror. Valeria chose to ignore her. She sat up and finally taking in what is around her. She turned to Armina with a look of disbelief when she heard the chorus of "Love the way you lie"

"Why are you listening to Eminem?"

"I'm not. I am listening to A Skylit drive. It's a cover." As if to prove what she just said Valeria suddenly heard the low scream of the next verse.

"How can you listen to that noise?" Valeria squinted her face up in discomfort.

"It's not noise. Look let me put on a different song. And just listen. You'll like it if you give it a chance." Armina walked over to her iHome and detached her iPod to scroll through the music. She found the song she wanted and looked up at Valeria.

"Close your eyes. Just listen and let the music take you away." Valeria did as she was told as Armina placed her iPod back and pressed play. Soft sound of string instruments played through the speakers followed by a steady beat of snare drums and a xylophone. Valeria kept her eyes close allowing the music to flow through her. She heard the voice of a man and tried to focus to hear what he was saying. At first she could barely make anything out but as she listened closer it became clearer.

_We all have our horrors and our demons to fight._

_But how can I win, when I'm paralyzed?_

Valeria swallowed as she felt the pain in his voice and words. She listened even closer as the words began to hit home. She could feel the emotion behind his voice. She felt a shiver go through her spine as a female voice came in.

_If I let you in, you'd just want out.  
If I tell you the truth, you'd vie for a lie.  
If I spilt my guts, it would make a mess we can't clean up.  
If you follow me, you will only get lost.  
If you try to get closer, we'll only lose touch.  
Yes you already know too much, and you're not going anywhere.  
_

Valeria took a sudden breath as she heard the words come from the speakers. She had an overwhelming feeling inside of her she couldn't explain. She felt the music build up within her. Everything felt far away. It was like she was floating in place. All that was there were the music, her body, and her soul. She felt everything slow and blur before her with the pleas of the girl's voice echoing in her head. As the music slowed and soften she felt a tear come down her cheek.

"Shit." was all she could manage to say as she opened her eyes and wiped the tear from her face.

"Is it still just noise?" Armina smiled satisfied.

"That was actually… Beautiful," Valeria said just above a whisper as she recovered from the emotional train ride the song had just taken her on.

"Better than the crap you hear on the radio?"

"Way better. What was that?" Valeria asked getting up and heading towards her bag.

"It's called 'Don't go'. It's by Bring me the Horizon," Armina answered as she went back to the mirror and began to do her makeup. Valeria got out a shirt and some jeans from her bag and began to change. She made a mental note to download the song later as she walked over to Armina.

"Pass me the straightener please?" Valeria pointed to the purple straightener on the other side of Armina.

"Yes, Valeria. You may borrow my straightener. Thank you so much for asking," Armina let out in a sarcastic tone as she handed it to her.

"You're too kind." Valeria smiled innocently. Armina just rolled her eyes and Valeria couldn't help but laugh.

The two went about getting ready for the day. She did her hair as Armina finished her makeup. When they were both ready, they grabbed their things and left. Valeria waited in the car as Armina locked the front door and came to the driver's seat. They made their way down the street and stopped at a red light.

"I'm actually glad you are finally going to school today." Armina looked over to Valeria with a gentle smile. Valeria looked towards the window with a frown.

"Might as well right. I wonder what's going to happen. Things would be so much easier if Brittany had loved me back." Valeria sighed.

"Yeah, well I guess things never go the way you want them to, do they?" Armina grumbled looking forward at the traffic light.

"I just don't think it's fair. Is it me? Is Santana really that much better than me?"

"No. It's not you. You're perfect. It's just Brittany. She just can't see it." Armina looked back to Valeria who was suddenly on the verge of tears.

"I just don't understand."

"Trust me. It isn't you."

"You're just saying that. Obviously it is. Why else wouldn't she pick me? It has to be me." Her tone quickly shifted from sad to desperate and angry. The sudden change put Armina on the defense.

"Would you stop already?" She yelled, slamming her hands down on top of the steering wheel.

"She doesn't love you. That's it. No matter what you try, there is nothing you can do about it. She doesn't love you and she won't love you. She loves Santana. Your sister." Valeria winces at the mention of the word "sister"

"You are always complaining about how you want to be with her and to have her be the person to make you happy but you can never see the truth. You can only see the pain others are causing you. You can't even see the pain you cause others, or all the good they have done for you. You are too stuck in your own little world of self-pity. Would you stop being so damn selfish and look around you. You aren't the only one hurting." Armina snapped. Valeria sat silent absorbing all that was thrown at her.

"Pull over," she commanded.

"What?"

"Pull. Over," Valeria said between clenched teeth. Armina did as she was told.

"What are you doing?" she asked as Valeria unbuckled her seat belt.

"I'm making it so were you don't have to hear me whine anymore and I won't cause anyone anymore pain." Valeria got out of the car and slammed the door. She began to walk and Armina drove alongside her slowly. She rolled down the window and called out.

"Get back in the car. It's another four miles to the school."

"I'm fine walking." Valeria crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Would you just get in?"

"No I don't want to bug you and cause you pain."

"Fine. Be that way." And with that, Armina angrily drove off.

"Bitch," Valeria called after the speeding car disappearing in front of her. With no other option, she started walking.

Her anger slowly turned to guilt and sadness as she continued. She felt a chill in the wind and looked up to see an oak tree with newly browned leafs. She frowned realizing what today was. She kept walking for another ten minutes when she realized where she was. She turned on the street she had grown to know so well recently. She made her way up the drive way and saw Quinn locking her door. Quinn turned around and was shocked to see Valeria there.

"Valeria? What are you doing here?"

Valeria gave a flirtatious smile and made her way up to Quinn.

"Oh I just thought I'd stop by. See how you were. Maybe do a little catching up." Valeria winked as she stroked Quinn's cheek and wrapped her arms around the blonde. Quinn sighed realizing what was happening.

"You need to stop this. We can't do this," Quinn said trying to pry Valeria's arms off of her.

"Yes we can. Come on. We can skip school today and just have fun." Valeria leaned up to kiss Quinn but she moved her head to the side causing Valeria to miss her lips.

"I can't."

"Why not?" Valeria pouted like a child not getting what she wanted.

"Because I'm finally happy. I'm with Rachel now. And I don't want to screw that up. I can't. She is the one thing keeping me sane. She is all I want and need," Quinn explained still holding onto Valeria's hands.

"Rachel? Since when?" Valeria pulled her hands back in disbelief.

"Since Tuesday. Which you would know if you went to school, or even came to me for more than just sex," Quinn informed her crossing her arms.

"So what? That's it? Now that you have your precious Rachel you don't need me anymore?"

"You told me to go after her! And newsflash. We both used each other. You felt alone, I felt angry. We were just comforting each other. That's all we were to each other. Just someone to hold so we'd feel human. But enough is enough Valeria. We can't keep this up. So Brittany doesn't want you. So what. Open your eyes. There are people out there who do. People out there that care about you. You're just too blind by your own desires to see the truth. And the truth is right now you are nothing but a whiny, scared, stupid, selfish little brat who just wants the world to show her pity. Honestly you are acting worse than Finn."

"I am nothing like that. And damn it! Why aren't you doing what you're supposed to?" Valeria spat out full of rage.

"You know what Valeria? I'm sick of all of this drama. I am not your doll to control. I see now that there's nothing I can do to help you." Quinn pushed passed her and walked to her car.

"Where are you going?" Quinn could hear the desperation in her voice but she couldn't give in. This was for her own good.

"This isn't over. Damn it! Don't ignore me, get back her. Quinn!"

Quinn opened her door and looked back to Valeria one last time.

"I am going to school where I'll be with someone who loves me that I love back. The thing you want from me that I can't do anymore. So I suggest you take a look at your life and figure out why that is." Quinn got into her car and started it. She backed out of the drive way and Valeria yelled at her both furious and desperate.

"Quinn! Get back here! Damn it Quinn! Love me!" She stomped her foot and balled her fist in a tantrum as Quinn drove off. "Please," she pleaded to the empty road. Tears streamed down Valeria's face as she saw her last bit of sanity drive away with her. She didn't know what she was going to do. She Looked to the fallen leafs on the sidewalk and remembered that today was the day. So she decided to go to the one place left she could still go. Her last sanctuary that held just an ounce of hope. She wiped the tears from her eyes and began to walk to the tree.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Armina gathered her things together as the bell rang for lunch. She zipped up her bag and made her way through the hall way towards her locker. While at her locker she suddenly felt a nerving pull in the pit of her stomach. She didn't understand what it was so she decided to ignore it. She placed her bag in her locker before shutting it. As she saw Santana just a ways down the hall at a different locker. That was when she remembered what day it was. She quickly walked over to the other girl's locker.

"San, what are you doing?" she asked, confused.

"Putting away my stuff. What does it look like I am doing?" Santana rolled her eyes and went back to putting her books up.

"No. I can see that. I'm not stupid. I mean what are you doing here?"

"It's school. People come here to learn. Or so that is what I am told." Santana turned to Armina and gave her a snarky grin.

"Would you stop it with that shit? I mean you should be at the dumb tree. It's the first official day of fall. You and Valeria always skip and spend the day there."

Santana rolled her eyes at the mention of her sister's name.

"So what? Why would I go this time? My idiotic sister might be there. No way am I going to go."

"Are you seriously still mad at her? It's not her fault you aren't with Brittany anymore. It's yours. No one told you to break up. And you did give her permission to play the game. Besides that's all it was. A game. So would you just put your ego aside and make things better?"

"She is in love with Brittany and never told me. Or did you forget?"

"I wish I could." Armina looked away not wanting to show any sign of weakness.

"What do you expect from me?" Santana demanded slamming her locker door.

"Stop being an idiot and forgive your sister. And then go apologize to Brittany."

"I... I can't"

"Why not?"

"I just can't. Shit. Why don't you just mind your own damn business?" Santana shoved by her and Armina watched as she headed to the cafeteria. Armina shook her head in disbelief as she made her way in the same direction. She walked past the cheerleading table where Santana now sat laughing along with the other cheerios. Santana looked up and rolled her eyes in disgust when she saw Armina walk pass. She ignored it and made her way through the maze of tables. She headed to the one she normally sat at. She saw Brittany sitting silently between Sam and Sugar. She gave her a tight lip smile as she sat across from her. Brittany just looked down and began to play with her food. Armina looked around the table and stopped when she saw Quinn and Rachel acting all lovey together.

"Good to see someone is happy," Armina mumbled in disgust. Quinn laughed and looked in her direction.

"Someone's in a shitty mood. Bad day?"

Armina just nodded, "You could say that? Had a couple of arguments with the twins all in one day. And it's just now lunch time. You know how stubborn they can be," Armina said staring at her food.

Quinn nodded her head in agreement.

"That explains why Valeria was so needy this morning."

Armina's head shot up just then.

"You saw Valeria this morning? What happened?"

"She wanted what she's always wanted. An easy escape. And when I didn't give it to her this time she had a hissy fit. So I just left her there."

A pain grew in Armina's stomach again.

"Has anyone heard from her at all today?" She asked around the table. When everyone shook their heads, a worrisome feeling overcame her. Something didn't feel right. She didn't know what but she knew something bad was about to happen. She quickly got up from her table and ran to her car. She wasted no time as she got in and drove off in the direction of the tree.

"Please be there. Please," Armina pleaded to herself mostly. Armina's mind kept going back to memories of when she was still getting to know Valeria.

"_Hey." Armina walked up to Valeria who was sitting on a swing in the empty park. She frowned when she saw what was in her hands._

"_What are you doing with that?" Armina asked frighten when she saw a small pistol in Valeria's hand._

"_Relax. It isn't loaded. It was my dad's. He only had this. He never actually bought the bullets though. To scared of someone accidently using it." Valeria said as she opened it up to show it was empty. _

"_Why would he have a gun?" Armina asked still uneasy. _

"_Just for show. It won't kill but it might scare." Valeria shrugged still looking down at the gun._

"_Why do you have it now?" _

_Valeria stayed silent for a moment before looking back up at her._

"_He took everything when he left. Everything but this. Why do you think he did that Minny?"_

"_Um.. I guess he didn't want it." Armina tried to keep her voice calm as she slowly lowered herself to sit on the swing next to her._

_Valeria looked over the gun as she answered._

"_I think he did it as a cruel joke. A way to show us we can get rid of the pain. But only if we actually get the bullets ourselves." _

_Armina looked at her confused. _

"_That doesn't even make sense."_

_Valeria ignored her as she continued carefully turning the gun over in her hands._

"_A lot of things don't. I wonder what it's like. To end the pain. To have to no longer suffer. To be in complete darkness. Do you think it is better?" Valeria asked looking over at Armina._

"_I think it is rather lonely. Death can be very lonely." _

"_I'm already lonely." Valeria said looking back down._

"_But you still have Santana and your mom."_

_Valeria just shook her head._

"_No, not like I used to. This world has become very lonely to me."_

_Armina got off her swing and walked over to this girl she hadn't known very long. She bent down and looked into her eyes._

"_If you'd like I can keep you company. I am not much but I can help so you don't feel lonely." _

_Valeria smiled slightly._

"_You'll still be my friend even though I am so screwed up?"_

"_Always," Armina assured her. _

_Valeria placed the gun back into its box._

"_Come on, lets go get something to eat." Armina said offering her hand to her. Valeria accepted it and they left the park hand in hand._

"Damn it Valeria. I'm sorry for getting angry with you. Just please be okay." Armina stayed focused on the road.

When she finally got to the park, she got out of the car, sprinted pass the play area into the clearing, up the hill and quickly made her way to tree. When she found Valeria's bag on the ground, she looked up. But all she saw were branches. She grabbed the bag and headed for the place where she and Valeria went to see the stars. Once she saw that that place was also empty she began to panic fearing the worse.

"Damn it. Val please be home. Please I beg of you. Don't do anything stupid." She grabbed her phone and dialed Valeria's number. When she didn't get an answer she called again. She kept calling non-stop the entire way. She parked in front of the house phone still in hand and made her way to the door. She kept calling as she banged on the door. When she had no answer on either end she tried the knob. Slight relief fell upon her when it turned and opened.

"Valeria!" She called as she ran up the stairs. She barged into her friend's room and quickly scanned it. When she didn't see any sign of her she tried searching elsewhere. She franticly made her way to the restroom. When she tried to open it, it was locked. She heard a quiet, muffled cry from inside. She couldn't make out what was being said or if they were words at all but she knew it was Valeria.

"Valeria if you are in there and can hear me, please open the door," she tried to say as calmly as possible. When she didn't get an answer she began to bang on the door.

"Valeria let me in!" She listened hard and heard a loud thud followed by silence.

In a panic Armina pushed against the door with her body. She banged her body against it harder each time till the door finally broke open. She fell forward but caught her balance. She felt a pain in her chest when she saw Valeria laying on the ground.

"No, no! What'd you do?" She quickly rushed to her side and slapped at Valeria's face to wake her up.

"Wha… What's happening? Gahh. Oh... Minny. Hi," Valeria slurred opening and closing her eyes.

"Val look at me. Stay with me. What did you take? Valeria! WHAT. DID. YOU. TAKE?" She tried to get a response as she looked around the room. On the floor next to them she saw an empty bottle. She picked it up and read the prescription. It was the Trazdone prescribed to Santana when she sprained her neck and couldn't sleep.

"Shit," Armina mumbled as she lifted Valeria from the ground. When she did, she smelled the alcohol on her breath.

"You have prendy eyes," Valeria mumbled with a weak smile.

"You're drunk too?!" She quickly thought of who she could call. She didn't want to call the hospital. Santana's and Valeria's dad used to work there. He'd find out and Armina didn't want to embarrass their mother that way. She has already been through enough. So Armina quickly scrolled through her contacts and pressed call when she found the number she was looking for.

"Valeria I need you to stay awake with me please." She tried shaking Valeria as the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Oso! Thank God. I need your help. Valeria took a bunch of pills and she is drunk and I don't know what to do. I really need you to come please," Armina rambled on the verge of tears.

"Whoa, calm down. I'll call the hospital no-"

"No! You can't do that. Please."

"Alright. Is she awake?"

"Yeah," Armina answered looking at Valeria who was giggly and playing with her hair.

"Keep her that way. I'll be right there. Just keep her conscious till I get there. Talk to her. Make her answer you. Just don't let her sleep."

"Okay. Thank you."

"I'm coming now."

Armina dropped the phone to get a better grip on Valeria.

"Valeria. It's going to be okay. I promise," Armina said while trying to get Valeria to stand.

"Armina. Why won't she love me?" Valeria asked no longer smiling.

"I... I don't know."

Valeria put her head on Armina's shoulder.

"Minny.. Yough left me.. You left me awone." Valeria slurred as she tried to keep her up.

"I know. I am so sorry. But I'm here now. And I'll never leave you again. I promise." Armina stroked her head softly.

"Why err you her? I don't deserve vou," Valeria mumbled softly.

"I'm here for you."

"Why do you curr?"

Armina looked at her for a second before sighing.

"Well seeing as you probably won't remember this tomorrow anyway, I'll tell you why. Because despite everything that has happened, I... I'm... I'm in love with you, you big idiot," Armina answered as tears escaped her eyes. Valeria's eyes started to close.

"Which is why you cannot die! Please. Val I need you." Armina panicked trying to shake her awake

"Is there something wrong with me?" Valeria said clearer, opening her eyes slightly.

Armina couldn't help but smile.

"There is nothing wrong with you. You're perfect. It's just you're wasted thinking about the past again. But I promise you'll be okay."

She held onto her tightly.

"Armina?" Armina pulled her back so she was looking into Valeria's low eyes.

"Thank you. For loving me. Even when I'm fucked up." Valeria let out in a slight whisper as she closed her eyes and her body went limp.

"No! Valeria stay awake. Come on wake up." Armina began to shake her again when she heard a noise from downstairs.

"Armina?"

"Up here!" she called out to Ociel.

Ociel ran in and quickly made her way to them.

"She just fell asleep. I think. She took the whole bottle. What do I do? She won't wake up." Ociel turned on the cold water in the bathtub.

"Give her to me." Armina bent over and moved Valeria next to the bath tub where Ociel was. Ociel splashed cold water on her face and began to slap her hard.

"Valeria! Wake up sweety." Valeria squirmed around in discomfort. Ociel turned her around to face the tub.

"Armina hold her hair back. We need to get the drugs out of her, Now!" Armina did as she was told and watched Ociel shove her fingers in Valeria mouth. Valeria began to gag and cough a few times before she finally threw up. "That's it sweety. Good. Let it all out." Ociel rubbed Valeria's back as she threw up everything she swallowed. She continued to throw up until nothing was left in her stomach.

"There you go. Feel better?" Ociel asked and Valeria nodded her head.

Ociel turned to Armina then.

"She can go to sleep now, but keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't do it again. You should have taken her to the hospital but I trust you. You must have had your reasons. Either way I will be calling her mother and letting her know. Do you understand?"

Armina nodded her head.

"Good. Get her cleaned up and up to bed."

"Thank you so much Oso." Armina smiled and hugged her Osciel.

"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me. I have a phone call to make." Armina let her go then she took the stained clothes off of Valeria and turned on the shower. She waited till there was nothing left before helping Valeria in the shower. She rolled up her sleeves and began to shampoo her hair. She helped her rinse out the shampoo and awkwardly washed Valeria's body with soap. When she finished cleaning her off she helped her dry and change into a clean pair of pajamas. She helped her to the bed and sat on the floor next to her as she slept. After forty-five minutes Valeria's mother came in the room.

"Mi bebe. Por favor Dios, let her be okay," Maribel cried out as she rushed to Valeria's side. Armina moved to make room as Maribel kneeled next to the bed and caressed her forehead.

"She'll be fine. She just needs rest." Ociel informed the worried mother from the door.

"I don't understand what happened. Why would she? I... This must be my fault. I haven't been around enough. I'm so sorry mija. I have failed as a mother," Maribel cried into the sheets. Her crying caused Valeria to stir, and coughed.

"Ama, it's not your fault. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. But I'm okay. I promise." Valeria let out in a harsh whispered now a little more aware. Ociel walked further into the room carrying a glass of water.

"You're going to feel dehydrated. Here drink some water." Valeria took the water and drank. Ociel then turned to Maribel and placed her hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"She'll be fine. Just make sure she drinks lots of water."

"Thank you so much. Both of you. You've saved my daughter's life." Maribel smiled at them. The two just nodded not knowing what else to do.

"Look we should be going," Ociel said looking down to Armina.

"Yeah she's right. I'll come back tomorrow though." Armina added mostly to Valeria than to Maribel. They said their goodbyes and left the house.

"Thank you again Oso." Armina looked up at Ociel from her car.

"Hey I'm just glad you called me instead of trying to fix it yourself."

"Well I know you had experience with this. You saved my brother twice before when he wasn't himself." Armina looked down remembering how depressed her brother had been when he was still living with them.

"Yeah, well I had no choice but to save him. I love the man." She smiled a sad smile. Armina just nodded.

"Well thanks. I owe you."

"Don't mention it. But I will be checking in more often with you. I want you to keep me updated on how she is doing. And I am going to have a talk with you later, alright."

"Alright." And with that they went their separate ways. Armina drove her car across the street and Ociel headed home. As Armina went into her house she looked at the time. It was about to be three.

'No point in going back to school now.' She thought to herself as she headed to her room. Exhausted she dropped on her bed and let herself take a long nap before her family got home.

'Valeria, you idiot. I almost lost you.' She closed her eyes and allowed herself to cry out the fear she had felt before. At the time she couldn't lose control but now that she knew Valeria was safe she let herself go.

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**Thanks for reading guys. I hope y'all liked it. It's almost over. Maybe a few chapters more. I am so happy for getting all of the readers I have. It means a lot. Also leave me a review. I love to get them. And they make me want to update faster with longer chapters. **


	13. Chapter 12:Sleep

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Valeria woke with a start at the sudden yelling. She slowly turned in her bed. Her head was pounding and after everything that happened, she was not in the mood. She looked up to see Santana standing over with her arms crossed and a very displeased look on her face.

'She's still mad. Well I do deserve it,' Valeria thought.

She sat up slowly and slid higher in her bed towards the head board. She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them tightly.

"I'm guessing mom told you."

"How could you be so selfish? I just spent hours after getting home trying to convince her it wasn't her fault. Do you realize what you've done?"

Valeria looked into her sister's eyes and was taken aback by what she saw. Despite what her tone suggested, Santana wasn't angry at her. She was scared and hurt. Valeria realized the effect of what she had done. She had hurt her sister, and if her sister was like this she didn't want to imagine how her Mother must be. She knew she messed up. She also knew she had to make it right.

"I'm so sorry," was all Valeria could manage say. It killed her to see her sister like this.

"Sorry doesn't cut it. Did you really feel so low that you thought suicide was the answer?" Santana's voice cracked suddenly, causing Valeria to instinctively reach up, pull her sister into her body and hug her with all the strength she had.

"Please don't be upset. I was stupid and irrational and I'll never do it again. I promise. It isn't worth it. I realize that now." Valeria cried into her sister's shoulder. Her head was still pounding but she ignored the pain. When she let go she caught a glimpse of the clock. It was midnight and she was still exhausted but she knew she couldn't just go to sleep. Not without closure with her sister.

"I'm screwed up. I know now. But I am fixing it. No. I'm going to fix it. And I want to get better. I shouldn't have done what I did and I'm sorry. Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you," Santana said sitting on the bed next to her. She wiped away a tear that had escaped and turned her head in shame.

"Honestly, I hate myself. It's my fault. I didn't keep my promise. I left you. And then instead of trying to understand what you felt, I got angry at you and when you needed me or tried to confide in me, I pushed you away. I'm the one who should be apologizing." She dropped her face in her hand and let out a silent sob.

"No, it isn't your fault. I was being stupid and selfish." Valeria placed her hand on Santana's back. "Santana look at me." When she did Valeria continued.

"I wasn't happy and I didn't want you to be either. So my dumb narcissistic mind made me believe things that weren't true. I was jealous that you had Brittany. I was jealous that she got to spend so much time with you. I hated that she was the reason for your happiness. So I convinced myself I wanted her in order to justify that jealousy and anger I felt."

She sniffed hard trying to hold back her tears.

"But I was wrong. And what I did was wrong. I have been a fool. I couldn't see the truth because of how stupid I am. I didn't want to see. I didn't want to believe. Hermanita, I swear to you. If I could take it all back, I would. And now because of me you two aren't together anymore. I am so sorry. Please forgive me." Valeria pleaded as the tears now flowed from her eyes. Her nose became runny from her sobs. Santana sighed as she got up. She headed to the night stand on her side and grabbed a few tissues before coming back to hand them to Valeria.

"Don't cry. You were hurt. I was hurt. We are both to blame. But that isn't important anymore. Right now what is important is that I love you and you are alive. You are my only sister. So if you ever scare me like that again, I will go all Lima Heights on you." Santana smiled and Valeria could help but laugh at her sister's famous threat. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

"So you forgive me?"

Santana moved a stray hair from Valeria's face and nodded.

"Yes, I forgive you. And I promise from now on to be a better sister and consider your feelings as well as my own. As long as you promise to let me in again and talk to me about things like this. I miss how close we used to be."

Valeria smiled again.

"Yeah, me too. And I promise to be more open," Valeria added as she hugged Santana again.

"Good, now let's get some sleep." Santana got up from the bed and went to her own.

"Um, Santana? Can you sleep with me tonight?" Valeria asked hesitantly. Santana turned to see Valeria looking at her with pleading eyes. She tilted her head to the side with calm in her eyes.

"Oh, Val. Of course I will," she let out in a soft coo as she got into bed next to Valeria.

"Santana?" Valeria whispered as Santana cuddled her.

"Yeah?"

"Can you sing to me again?"

Santana stayed silent for a moment before answering.

"Sure."

Valeria snuggled into Santana's side and listened to her soft voice and the beat of her heart. The soothing rhythm along with her lullaby helped Valeria drift off into deep slumber.

"_Valeria! Please Valeria wake up." Valeria heard the sobs of a familiar voice. _

'_Where am I?__' Valeria thought as she looked around. She was in a __cool desert with cracked dried dirt. _

"_Valeria!"__ She heard the voice call for her again. She began to move forward as she tried to figure out where exactly she was. _

"_Hello?" she called out. When she got no answer she tried again._

"_Hello, a__nyone there?" Still no answer. She looked up to see dark thunder clouds fill the sky. _

"_Can someone tell me where am I?" she called out again as she continued to walk forward. When she saw an object up ahead, she squinted to get a better look. As she got closer she could see it was an old rocking horse. She recognized it as the one she and Santana got for their fourth Christmas from their grandmother. When she reached the horse, she frowned when she saw that the legs and rounded bottom had fallen off. _

"_It broke." Valeria turned around at the sudden sound. She was shock__ed to see herself as a child staring down at the toy. _

"_It's no good anymore," t__he younger version of herself said in a melancholic tone as she looked up at her. Valeria looked back at the horse then to the young girl. _

"_It's not that bad. It can still be fixed. Everything broken can be fixed." Valeria offered with a smile as she bent down to take a better look at the horse. She grabbed the torso and legs and put them together. She placed the legs in the small holes and turned the whole thing over. She pressed hard and hit the bottom of the legs until it all was back in place. She set the horse down and smiles at her younger self. _

"_See? Fixed." _

_The younger version of herself got on the horse and began to rock in it. She looked up at her and smiled._

"_Better?" Valeria asked as she got to her feet._

_The younger girl nodded and continued to rock. _

"_Valeria! Wake up. Please!" Valeria turned at the strange distant voice. She looked back down to the younger girl but she was gone. Confused she began to search. After__ a while of not being able to find her in the empty land she instead tried to call out to the voice._

"_Who are you?" _

"_Valeria, please wake up." She heard louder. She suddenly recognized the voice. _

"_Minny? Where are you?__" _

"_Valeria!" _

_Valeria ran fast trying to find where Armina's voice was coming from. _

"_Minny! Please tell me where you are."_

"_I'm here. I always have been." Varleria turned quickly to see Armina standing there arms wide open. _

"_Minny!" Valeria jumped into her arms in relief. _

"_I love you Valeria. I have for a while." Valeria backed up slightly to look her in the eyes. "Kiss me. See if you feel the same."_

_Valeria couldn't help but giggle. _

"_I can't kiss you. You're Minny. That would be weird."_

"_Why would it be weird? Why not chose me? I have always been there. You've kissed me before. Think back to it. Can you honestly say you never felt anything?" _

_Valeria tried to remember the first time she kissed Armina. She remembered how amazing it was. She felt safe and warm and everything felt right with that kiss. But there was more. Something she didn't understand. She thought of all her other kisses. She realized none of her other kisses. Not even those with Quinn had that extra thing. That thing she couldn't explain. She rattled her brain looking for the right word but it wasn't there. _

"_Alright I'll kiss you." Valeria leaned up hoping if she kissed he__r again she could figure it out. But Armina pushed her off. _

"_Not here. Out there. Just open your eyes. You'll understand." And with that Armina turned, walked off, and disappeared. _

"_Minny wait." But she was too late. Armina was gone. Valeria felt an aching in her head again. _

'_What's going on?' she thought confused. _

"_What was that? And where did Minny go?" Valeria's head began to pound so hard she almost couldn't bare it. She brought her hands to her head wanting the pain to go away. _

"_What's wrong?" _

_The pain became sharp and then disappeared, Valeria turned swiftly at the sound of someone's voice. She saw her younger self again only this time she wasn't as young as the first time. _

"_Where did you come from?" Valeria asked confused._

"_I've always been here. Thank you for fixing my horse." _

_Valeria looked at the little girl dumbfounded. _

'_I'm dreaming right? This has to be a dream. Right?' She thought silently._

"_It's a dream, but that doesn't mean it isn't real." The younger Valeria said as she sat cross le__gged on the ground and opening a bag of cloth she was holding._

"_What? You heard my thoughts?" _

"_Of course I did. I'm you silly." The little girl smiled and went back to opening her bag. _

"_Do you want to play with me?" _

_Valeria looked at her younger self unsure. She slowly walked closer and sat down next to her._

"_Um__...__ Sure. What are we playing?" Valeria asked unsure what was in the bag. She watched as her younger self turned the bag over and emptied out what was inside. Numerous blocks of all shapes and sizes tumbled out. The little girl grabbed two and began to stack some together to build something. _

"_Where's Armina?" Valeria asked as she grabbed a block and placed it on its side. _

"_Who's that?" _

_Valeria looked at the girl baffled._

"_Armina? Our best friend. She was here a while ago. Seriously you cannot tell me you don't know who she is."_

"_I don't." The young Valeria stated as she continued focused on her structure. "I don't even have any friends."_

"_Yes you do__. I mean,__we do."_

"_Nope. I just sit here and play by myself. I used to play with Santana but she is gone now." The young girl kept looking at her work not really acknowledging Valeria. Valeria didn't know what to say. She still couldn't figure out what was happening. _

"_What's wrong? You seem sad." The younger girl finally looked away at towards Valeria._

"_I'm not."_

"_You did something bad didn't you?__"_

_Valeria looked away unsure how to answer._

"_I messed up __and I lost my sister and my best friend."_

"_Why?" _

"_Because I was an idiot who wouldn't listen to anyone."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because everyone was trying to help me."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because they love me. But I didn't want their help. I never asked for it."_

"_Why?" _

"_Because I didn__'t think I deserved their love o__kay!__" Valeria snapped and stood up s__uddenly._

"_Why?" the younger girl asked again looking up at her. Valeria shut her eyes ashamed and looked away._

"_Because I don't even love myself. So why should they?"_

_The younger version of Valeria got up and hugged her. _

"_Maybe that's what's wrong with you. You don't love yourself so you can't understand why others would. But there is someone out there who loves you. There has to be. Maybe you just need to open yourself up and let them in__.__"_

_Valeria looked down at her younger self and smiled. _

"_Maybe you are right." _

"Valeria, wake up. Mami made breakfast." Valeria's eyes fluttered open and she saw Santana looking down at her. She yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She still had a major headache but tried to ignore it as she looked at Santana again.

"I'll wait down stairs okay." Santana let her know before walking out of the room.

'What happened last night? Gah. My head is killing me. How am I still alive?' Valeria thought as she groaned while rubbing her head. She felt pain all over and for a brief moment regretted waking up.

'Wait Santana is talking to me again?' She couldn't figure out what was happening. She sat up and pondered on the previous night's events.

'Oh yeah. She forgave me.' Valeria got up out of bed and smiled remembering everything they had talked about. She made her way to the door and tried to recall her dream.

As she went down the stairs she was worried for what awaited her. She hesitantly entered the kitchen and saw Santana sitting at the counter on a stool. She moved over to her quickly and sat on the stool next to her. Her mother was standing at the stove with her back facing them. She turned around and Valeria felt a pain of quilt in her chest. Her mother handed her a plate of food with a smile on her face but Valeria could see her eyes were still red and slightly swollen from crying. Valeria hated to see her mother cry. She hated even more being the reason for those tears.

"Good morning Mija. I hope you slept well." Maribel moved a strand of hair from Valeria's face and tucked it behind her ear. She then proceeded to make her way around the counter to them. She kissed Valeria on the head and hugged her tightly.

"I love you so much. You know that right?"

Valeria hugged back and nodded her head into her mother.

"I love you too Mami. And I'm so sorry for-"

"Shhh. Don't say it. It's over now. You're here and that's all that matters to me." She ran her hand through Valeria's hair smiling. Santana turned to Valeria about to say something when she stopped.

"What?" Valeria asked curious.

"It's just, have you spoken to Armina about what happened yet?"

Valeria looked down guilty.

"No not yet."

"Oh Armina, that sweet precious girl. I have to thank her again." And with that Maribel left the room and headed to the living room muttering ideas on how to thank Armina.

"If you see her tell her I want to talk to her." Santana looked forward and began to eat her food again.

"Why?" Valeria asked as she took a bite of hers.

"I need to apologize to her. I was rude to her and well, I also need to thank her." Santana answered still looking forward. Valeria smiled knowing how bad her sister was with emotions. And with apologies. So the fact that she actually wanted to say she was sorry was a rare sight. But Valeria loved seeing this side of her sister. It reminded her of when they were younger. Valeria looked back at her food remembering all that happened when she wasn't exactly herself. She also remembered her dream. She wasn't sure what it meant per say but she knew what she had to do. Armina's face popped in to her mind and Valeria couldn't help but smile with a slight flutter in her stomach.

"I'll let her know. But you have to wait in line. I have my own things I need to tell her." And with that Valeria took one last bite and got off of her seat. She headed to the door when her sister called after her.

"Good luck."

Valeria smiled and made her way outside and across the street. She felt the butterflies ruffle inside of her as she took one last breath and knocked on the door.

'Here goes nothing.'

She held her breath as Armina opened the door.

"Hey." Valeria let out in a squeak.

"Hi," Armina smiled at her and the nervous butterflies Valeria had flapping around before slowed to a soft flutter as she felt herself grow suddenly warmer.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," Armina said with an even tone.

Valeria entered that house not knowing what she was about to do or say, But she did know one thing. After today everything was going to change drastically.


	14. Chapter 13: Awake

Valeria made her way into the house and followed Armina up the stairs to her room. She couldn't help but notice the shape in Armina's body as she walked ahead of her up the steps. Armina was wearing a pair of yoga pants that hugged her hips and a grey tanked undershirt with a laced neckline. It was making it hard for Valeria's eyes to stay focus on anywhere but her body. She shook her head trying to keep in mind why she was here. On her up the stairs way she smiled a greeting to Armina's two younger brothers who were sitting on the couch starring at her curiously. She made it to the top and quietly made her way down the short hall to Armina's room. Once there she sat on the bed nervous on how to begin.

"So…" Armina broke the silence awkwardly. Valeria watched her sit cross legged far up on the bed.

"So." She began as she looked away from Armina. She closed her eyes wanting something to come out. Anything would work. But she couldn't figure out how to word what it was she was feeling.

"Um.. I." She tried again but fell silent when her mind went blank.

"Look, we don't have to talk if you don't want to. Last night was a rough night. But it's okay. We can pretend it never happened if you want." Armina offered with an unsure half smile.

"No, I. I do want to talk. Well not really about that exactly. I mean yes that, but also about other things. I don't know. I." She paused trying to get her thoughts in order.

"I had a dream last night. A very strange dream. But I think it has opened my eyes to a lot. I see now what I wasn't able to see before. It's like my vision is clear. I just. I woke up this morning feeling all kinds of things. And I." She paused again frustrated that she couldn't find a way to explain everything clearly.

"Damn it! Why can't I get this out right?" Valeria groaned impatiently.

"Hey, it's okay. We can talk about it some other time. When you figure it all out." Armina reached out and grabbed her hand to reinsure her.

"No. I know what I need to say. I just." She stopped as an idea popped in her head.

"I think it will make more sense if I sing it. Is that weird?" Valeria looked up embarrassed she just asked if she could sing.

"Of course not. Whatever is easier." Armina smiled again softer to encourage her friend. She figured Valeria was just having trouble with talking about her attempt last night. So she didn't want to rush or put any pressure on her.

Valeria nodded then got up.

"I am going to change the lyrics a bit but this mostly explains how I was feeling and how I feel now. Just listen okay."

Armina nodded and waited patiently as Valeria took a deep breath and began to sing.

"_Woke up and wished that I was dead. _

_With an aching in my head._

_lay motionless in bed,_

_I thought of you and where you'd gone_

_And let the world spin madly on."_

Valeria looked at Armina as the feelings she was having trouble describing not too long ago flowed through her song.

"_Everything that I said I'd do _

_Like make the world brand new_

_And take the time for you._

_I just got lost and slept right through the dawn_

_And the world spins madly on."_

She closed her eyes feeling guilty. She knew she had been playing the victim card and that enough was enough. She felt ashamed but also hoped to fix everything.

"_I let the day go by _

_I shouldn't have said goodbye_

_I watched the stars from my window sill_

_The whole world is moving while I was standing still"_

Valeria's voice shook slightly as she felt how true her words she sung had been. She smiled suddenly as she couldn't help but think of Quinn and how smart and right she had been as she sang the next part.

"_Woke up and wish that I was dead _

_With an aching in my head_

_I lay motionless in bed_

_The day is here and the night is gone_

_And the world spins madly on."_

She opened her eyes and looked at Armina again. She stared into her eyes and a sense of assurance overcame her. She felt suddenly relaxed and nervous and giddy all at once. It was the strangest and also strongest feeling she ever felt in her life. Her smile grew bright as she softly sang the last part that was also the truest.

"_I thought of you and all you've done_

_And MY world will spin madly on."_

She stood there nervously waiting for a reaction. Armina was just sitting there watching her. So she decided to try and explain.

"I have been lost and very confused for a very long time. But thanks to you I think I might have found myself. Or at least a part of me. I can see now. How I was behaving. What I was doing. The pain I was causing everyone. But most importantly the pain I have caused you. And even so, through it all for some strange reason you stuck by me. It was irrational what I tried last night. I know that. But I guess in a way it helped me. Somehow in that time of feeling a numbing high, pain, dark self-hatred, and the love you kept for me even when I didn't think I deserved it, I woke up. I saw clearly. I'm still pretty messed up in the head but I think I can fix myself if I had a little help. And this is completely out of my place to ask this after all I have put you through but, I think the person who I need the most to help me is you. So that is why I am here. To say thank you for everything, to ask for your patience and help, but also and most importantly, to ask for your forgiveness."

Valeria rambled. When she didn't hear an answer right away she began to panic.

'Maybe she didn't understand. Did I make since? Do I ever make sense? Crap what if she doesn't want anything to do with me now? No that's dumb she wouldn't have invited me in to talk if that were true. Right? Crap she looks sad. What should I do? What can I do? What is wrong with me? I need to do something.' Valeria made her way to the bed without thinking and wrapped her arms around Armina.

"Please don't be sad. I'm sorry if I said the wrong thing." Valeria held on tight on the verge of tears. She was so scared of losing her best friend.

"I'm not sad." Armina said in a soothing voice while hugging Valeria back. Valeria felt herself calm once Armina's arms returned her hug. Everything was silent as they sat there in each other's arms. For once since she woke up that morning, Valeria's mind was still. She loved the feeling she had, so she gave in to the peace. Her senses took over and she felt a soothing togetherness inside her and began to feel comfort with the sound of Armina's heartbeat. It was nice and warm. She closed her eyes enjoying the sensation she had through her body from the embrace. Suddenly she opened her eyes. She realized she was holding onto Armina for much longer then she had intended. But she didn't want to let go. It felt too good to let go. For once her mind wasn't racing with non-sense thoughts. So she kept her hold for as long as possible, just wanting to take in Armina's essence. But as if with a mind of its own her body began to move. She closed her eyes and let it without any protest. She trusted herself. And when she reopened her eyes she found herself with her face extremely close to Armina's. She blushed as she stared into her deep soulful eyes.

'Wow. How come I never noticed how absolutely breathtakingly beautiful she is?' Valeria's eyes moved across Armina's features taking them in. She found herself wonder her gaze down to look at Armina's lips. She remembered the first time she kissed Armina. How against it she was. Though she had never told Armina that. She just wanted to learn how to kiss a girl. She remembered how rushed and forced it felt. She wanted to get it over with and just have the experience. But this time it was different. This time instead of forcing herself she actually longed to taste her lips. She looked back up into Armina's eyes and saw she had that same longing in them. Valeria blushed as she knew what would happen next. She let all doubt and negativity out the door as she closed her eyes and leaned in. The second her lips touched Armina's everything felt in place. It felt right. Like putting the final piece of a puzzle down and seeing the beauty of the complete picture. She felt the tingle inside of her grow into something else. Something wild, yet controlled. Whatever she thought she felt for Brittany felt suddenly wrong compared to this. She had never felt anything like this. It was so raw, so dangerous, yet so addicting and also loving. She wanted more. The passion that grew inside of her showed through as she deepened the kiss. She held onto the back of Armina's neck tightly never wanting to separate from her. The earth stood still underneath her. All time seemed to have stopped. And nothing else in the world matter except for this moment. Blood rushed to her head and her lungs called out in pain wanting her to pull back for some air, but she made the moment last for as long as she could. Enjoying every second of it.

'You are so dumb. All this time you were chasing after your sisters love when yours had been standing loyally next to you all along.' A tear slipped out from her closed eyes and down her cheek. She felt happy. She felt complete. Suddenly without warning she was ripped back to reality as Armina pushed her off gently.

"I am so sorry. Did I do it wrong? Did you not like it? I'm sorry. Please don't cry"

Valeria squinted her face in confusion. She felt another tear fall and she knew what Armina was freaking out about. She couldn't help but laugh as she shook her head.

"I'm not crying. Well I am, but not in a bad way. I'm. I'm happy. I am happy because I finally feel what it's like to love someone. I.. I love you Armina. I think I have since we first met. It just took this long for me to figure it out. But now I know. I love you Armina, you are all I could ever want or need."

Armina's mouth opened in complete and utter shock. She wasn't sure if she heard correctly. She quickly recovered and grew the biggest grin Valeria has ever seen on her face.

"You're serious right? This isn't a dream is it?"

Valeria shook her head and watched Armina's eyes brighten.

"I love you too." Armina pressed her lips onto Valeria's again.

"I have waited so long for the day I might be able to finally get you. And now that I have you. Well just know I am never letting go."

Valeria felt her stomach twist as she blushed a bright red so bright it showed on her dark skin.

"You better not." Valeria teased as she pressed their lips together and kissed her gently. She peeked out her tongue and traced it along Armina's lips till they parted inviting her in. She closed her eyes loving the sweet taste as their tongues danced around with each other. Valeria leaned further in and Armina followed her lead as they lay down next to each other. Their hands softly traced the outlines of the others body. Valeria felt Armina's warm skin under the touch of her fingers as she dragged them lightly in all sorts of directions. She felt on Armina's slight abs that peeked out from her undershirt that was held up from their position on the bed. They kissed for quiet sometime when there was a knock on the door. Armina groaned as she got up to answer it. Valeria couldn't help but giggle at how annoyed she seemed.

"What?" Armina asked coldly as she opened the door to reveal her youngest brother.

"Mom said you have to help her with lunch."

"Why me? I'm busy!" Armina complained.

"Mom said. Ask her not me." With that he ran off back towards the stairs. Valeria smiled and got up from the bed.

"Come on. Let's go help your mom. We can get back to this again after. I promise." Valeria winked and pulled Armina along with her as she walked through the hall and down the stairs towards the kitchen.

"Promise?" Armina asked as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"I promise." Valeria smiled and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before they turned into the kitchen hand in hand.


End file.
